OK..so Tuesday night I was sitting in my moms room talking to her about her job and how I hate it and all. She is an...exzotic dancer as she calls it. and I was telling her how easy she has it, because all she has to do is shake her ass in a guys face and he gives her money. She was like well my job can also be very hard. She was like say a girl worked hard all night but didn't make but $10 wouldn't you feel sorry for her. I was like no because she is provoking her body in a way that she should not, now if it were a different kind of job yes I would feel sorry for that person.SHe was like you know what your a little bitch!My mouth dropped..Well if it isn't the queen of bitches calling me a bitch! She my mothers mind frame is quite different then alot of others. She believes she is this very attractive woman who can get anyone she wants, who thinks she can go shop all day but when I ask for another thing of axe deoderant its I dont fucking have time to buy you deoderant Cheyenne!! She thinks she needs to go tanning every single day and get her nails and toes done every two weeks. She blows money like its nothing, but when it comes to buying me anything or buying anyone else anythings its like we are asking her to commit murder or something.
She is a toltal drama queen and makes me so mad sometimes! I meen I love her to death but she loves herself more than she loves anyone else. She has had a really hard life though I mean she didn't have a mother in her life very much and her father was a big drug head so I understand why she is the way she is and doesn't have much knowlege on certain things but sometimes I forget that and I just want to ring her neck. See when she was a teenager she did what she wanted when she wanted to do it, but she says she regrets being allowed to do what ever she wanted. I was like ... what do you regret? Me? She was like well I wish I would have waited to have you. I feel like a peice of shit because she didn't want to have me. I feel worthless. I am not a bad person or anything, but somehow I feel like I shouldn't be here. My mom is so diff. from other moms. Every Tuesday she goes out and she partys with her friends, and almost every sunday she goes out and partys with her bf. she is 30 and still young and should have fun but when she works monday, and wed.-sat. and is gone every single day shoping or getting coffees its like where do i come in. When do I get a chance to spend time with my mom and talk to her? She is more like a sister to me than a mom, it can be cool sometimes but I just wish she was there for me more. Maybe I am a bitch like she said and maybe I do only think about myself. I just dont know anymore! Does anyone think I am a bitch for disapproving of my
mothers job and telling her about it?