Repulsion

milee13's picture

My friend stayed over the night before last and we were hanigng out in my room at like 2 a.m. talking about our future plans and all that crap. I was very interested to learn that she wants live, much as she will deny it, the basic heterosexual dream life. I had always thought that she would want something beyond the husband, home, 2.5 kids scenario, but apparently not, it was a little surprising actually. I knew that she wanted to have kids and get married and whatnot, but I didn't know that she wanted to do so by 25, I mean that's only 8 years away.

At this point I don't really know what I want to do with my life, I want like five different careers all at the same time and that doesn't exactly seem feasible....

Well, anyway my friend knows that I'm gay, she's known for about four or five months now, but she tends to kind ignore it for the most part to the extent that it actually grows tiresome talking to her sometimes.

She doesn't seem to comprehend that I would have to deliberately go out of my way to get pregnant (see bored musings on childbirth, I do not, repeat, do not want children, nor will i ever get pregnant through any means)and this can make conversations with her tedious at times, maybe i need to clarify for her that I'm really not interested in men romantically at this point in my life or probably ever?

so it's 2 a.m. and for some reason i managaed to get us onto the topic of egg donation, i have no idea how i managed this. So i asked her who she would be willing to donate eggs to out of all of our friends and she named like three or four and why, and then i named pretty much the same people, but then admitted that with a couple of them i would probably try to take the offspring and claim them as my own...I don't know why, but with one of my friends i know that i couldn't just give her eggs freely, i would want to raise them with her....

Blah blah blah, and of course the conversation turned to pregnancy and my being generally repulsed by the entire process, from conception to birth. I casually mentioned that I was repulsed by heterosexual sex and she couldn't understand why! Well, from what I'm aware many heterosexuals are a bit squicked by gay sex, or at least aren't interested in participating, so how is it strange that as a homosexual i wouldn't be interested in having heterosexual sex?

If i'm not physically attracted to men why would I want to have sex with them? I don't expect her to want to have sex with girls? It was just weird, she seemed so confused by my comment.....