I am tired.

somedays dreamer's picture

I am a bit tired of the act, I have been putting up. Heh, I finally came out to a rather large group of my friends and they took it well considering a few are a tad bit homophobic. But I didn't tell everyone, because it could lead to me having to leave my school because my parents would kick me out of the house. So yeah at the same time one of my best friends is sick and in need of a surgery, and she never had one before while I had a few. So I was telling her about things to do in order to keep the doctors from screwing up and she is taking it as an insult. I don't know what to do I am tired of it. I mean having to watch what I say on a constant basis is hard, I never really gave thought for what I do; I just do because if I don't nothing gets done. I am sick of having to watch for what other people say because if word of my coming out reaches the main population of the school it will reach the teachers. Many of which talk to my parents on a regular basis and they could tell them about this. I wish I could think better but I can't. Of course, it hurts that some of my sarcastic friends takes cheap shots at me during class about me coming out ("Mrs. N. not everyone here has a boyfriend." "Well 'L' I know a few of you are single" "No, Mrs. N., I am meaning some of the girls here may have girl friends" "Well I know but this doesn't pertain to girls with girlfriends," You know the whole time "L" just gave me those annoying side glances the whole way through). But hey who gives a damn.