I need Advice Really Badly!!!!

beckyd's picture

About a year ago i met this girl in one of my classes and i don't know why but the moment i talked to her i knew i liked her. I don't have class with her this year but i think about her all day and we talk whenever we see each other. Everytime I see her though i feel like telling her i like her but i don't know if i should. The thing is i don't know if she's bi or lez and i'm not out to anyone. What should i do?

jeff's picture


One step at a time...

First, make it a point to get together with her more purposefully than "whenever we see each other." If you're both at the same school, it can't be too difficult to find things to do.

And, once you are doing that, within the context of friendship, you can come out to her. But not for the sake of asking her out, but for the sake of building your friendship on a solid foundation of truth.

Once you are friendly and open with her, it will tend to sort itself out. Once you talk about your sexuality, hers will usually follow. If she is also not straight, and interested (I do realize that no one considers their crush can be gay and not into them, but it does happen), then it will be easy for things to find their own groove in that direction. Or, you will have a straight friend. Win-win. Or a gay friend who isn't into you. Win-lose (but will sort itself out for the good over time).

But I don't think you can just jump from acquaintance to wanting to be aorund her more, coming out, and dating... all in the same breath. You gotta do the work and build up to it.

ac4308's picture

sometimes you've got to take

sometimes you've got to take chances but i don't know if you think that it's worth outing yourself. you could try becoming good friends with her first and maybe you'll find out what she is and if not when you're good friends she probably won't out you. maybe if you asked the right questions you could find out from one of her friends. its hard for me to say because i don't know the entire situation but those are some suggestions. hope it helps. good luck. keep us updated.

beckyd's picture

still don't know what to do

the school's big so i don't see her often but i always talk to her after school. About being friends with her i was friends with her all of last year but because school is a little more hectic this year and we don't have classes together we don't see each other much:(. And i know i shouldn't just be dating her it's just that the second i met her i was attracted to her and i felt this connection with her that i haven't felt b4 with anyone else, i don't actually know if anyone will get what i mean.

Cheyennelovesu15's picture

Get her to go to the movies w

Get her to go to the movies with you and then spend the night at your house. Get to know her AloT more. Then when you feel comfortable tell her if you want. Good luck.


Acorn86's picture

Get to know her

my advice would be to try and get to know her more first too. Make a point of talking to her...have lunch with her or something. Then maybe, you go out with her in a group....like next time your group of friends goes out to do something...invite her to come along, that way if anything else you can start a friendship with her. I wouldn't tell her you like her though right away, especially not knowing her all that well...gay or straight that can scare some people away even though you have the best of intentions. Good luck and I hope it works out the way you want it to!

beckyd's picture


Thank you all for your advice. I probably will not tell her until i get to know her more even though i hate having to keep it a secret. in case you all wanted to know, the reason i'm not out at school is because i know it will get back to my family and i'm not ready to tell my family...yet.