Not even a little. This is my second day, so far I have had two cigarettes in those two days. Not a perfect record, but still, I think, reasdon enough to be proud of myself. Usually I'll have two cigarettes within an hour and a half of getting out of bed, so two in 36 hours is pretty close to a miracle.
I've got this on-again, off-again headache, I can't seem to eat enough to not be hungry an hour later. I've been monsterously cranky. I couldn't throw a bowling ball straight last night to save my ass. I've gone through a lot of weed, and I'm going to go through a lot more. And to put the poo icing on this shit cake, they were giving away *free cigarettes* at my convienience store yesterday. Yeah, I was a joy to be around, you bet your ass. But I didn't take them, and that's all that matters at the end of the day. It's just one more obstacle to overcome, and every little thing that makes this harder is one more reason for me to stay tough. It's mostly an ego thing, you know. I just can't stand the idea of being subservient to something, and I am a slave to the cigarettes. So paradoxally, every stupid thing like the damn free packs of cigarettes yesterday is a little more motivation for me. If I can refuse free cigarettes, then I can damn well ride this out, I think. I mean, how much worse could it get?
Wish me luck, guys n girlz.