College life

Paladin's picture

Anyway, since it's been bloddy ages since I last posted, I decided to update everyone on my life. I imagine this may be one of my last journal entries here because I've simply found better things to do with my time since moving to New Hampshire.

The night before last I went out with about fifteen gay guys to dinner. I didn't make terribly much conversation with most of them, primarily because I was nervous, but also because many of them were effeminate. My problem with effeminate behaviour is that I am not comfortable with it, however I hope in time that I can become comfortable wit it, though I would certainly never hope to become effeminate myself.

Afterwards we went to the GSA, which that night felt like a complete waste of time because there were at least fifty people there, the room wasn't large enough (because no one anticipated that many people going) and we only really had time to introduce ourselves and find out what programs are on for the rest of the term.

Some people on my floor know I'm gay, and those who do are fine with it. My roommate is cool with it. The others will find out sooner or later, and most will not care, I'm sure. News travels quickly around campus, whether it be the streakers in the dining hall the other day or the Today I walked back from classes with two gay guys I met at the dinner. They seem friendly enough.

In some ways it's definitely easier to be gay and effeminate simply because you don't need to come out nearly as much as when one is gay and not effeminate. I never considered that. A friend of mine at another college suggested that I wear pink shirts and stop hanging around so many girls (especially when they tickle me and put their arms around me). I guess that would speed the process up a lot more, but it would be very inauthentic, in the existential sense of the word. As it happens, a girl on my floor just wrote on my "wall" on facebook.com about what I said about myself. I guess some people who I'm "friends" with on facebook actually have been reading my profile. So I guess I won't be in anyone's closet much longer. I really do hope I can start dating some guys soon...