Coming out.... again

Paladin's picture

So I'm here in New Hampshire. It's all great. I have even experienced any jet-lag, which amazes evveryone else, considering that I just changed timezones by 12 hours.

I've made several friends already, mostly international students, since most Americans in my year have yet to arrive. I've joined And I find myself passing up more and more oppurtunities to come out.

When I went for dinner with two other freshmen, a sophomore and some parents, I talked with one freshman who was also interested in math. When the others asked what we were so enthusiastic about, he said that we were talking about "a beautiful lady", called math. I was tempted to then say, "Well, in my case, it's a beautiful man", but I gave myself the lame excuse of that I should be more sensitive to coming out to the parents of the other freshman.

Then, today I was playing around with my facebook profile, and I had the oppurtunity to put "interested in men". I don't have the courage to do that yet, though hopefully I will find it in the next week. This time of uni is one of the most important for making friends, and I can't believe that I'm allowing this to take precedence over coming out. Oh well.


armadillo's picture

IT's better to think, before speaking

I can understand that you feel guilty about not saying what's exactly on your mind. However, sometimes, it's good to just keep your thoughts to yourself and when the timing is appropriate, then let yourself out a bit.

Alucard_Lover's picture

I must agree.You should alway

I must agree.You should always think before making a compromising statement.As wondrful our dear country is,the reality of things is that 4/5 GLBT students are harassed in high school,add a few years of maturity,make it 2 or 3/5,harassment and hate crimes still exist in here.I can relate with your frustation,but give it time,if asked directly about a certain topic that involves your preferences,then say it,as casually as you can,that will give people a stronger notion of your confidence in your sexuality.Best of luck,have a good time.

toblerone's picture


Actually I think you are doing the right thing...wait till you get to know them better, then tell them that you are gay. This will make them like you for who you are first, making it a smooth transition. I know it doesn't sound that gay-proud, but it's true. At least I think so...


Daisy's picture

I'm with the other posters on this one

It's entirely reasonable (maybe even smart) to wait until you form some closer attatments before coming out.

Did they love you or what?

Paladin's picture


Well thanks for the support, but I disagree with all of you, as far as it goes in my situation. I do not want there to be any preconceived notion in anyone's mind that I am straight. I don't want things to have to be shaken up some time in the future, even if I don't go along with the straight-act. More than anything, it is about the fact that I simply didn't think I was of this mindest. And I'm not thinking that way, any more. I have now put my profile on that I am interested in guys. No one has mentioned anything about it, yet.

Oh, and I am not going to get harassed much where I am for being gay. And if I was risking something big, then I'll happily be a martyr. Hence why I'm glad that I've moved past this. But I won't tell anyone out of the blue that I'm gay. I will only if it comes up in conversation.


Alucard_Lover's picture

Best of luck on your decision

Best of luck on your decision,if it bothered you that much,then you made the right choice.On the other hand,I have to disagree with the martyr comment,there are more things that you can contribute to,such as a future where sexual orientation is not a factor in social and legal outcomes,and much more by being alive,there is no reason for which you should let any pedant fool to take your life.In life we make tradeoff,you may be risking negative reactions,BUT in exchange,that selection will help you meet the kind of people that you may benefit from.