for all you who are depressed...

bulldyke's picture

okay, for my little, 'let's-cheer-everyone-up-thing', i'm going to write to all of us who are depressed.
just so you know that i'm not talking about stuff that i don't know anything about, i've been depressed for most of my life, and was only recently diagnosed (about a year ago). i was later diagnosed as being bipolar, which can be even worse, sometimes. i spent all of last summer, and a month before that, on suicide watch, and i've tried to kill myself. i cut, but i'm trying to stop.
now, that all being said. i'm not looking for sympathy, though it might be nice. what i am looking for, is people to read this, and feel something. feel good that you're not alone. feel pissed at the world that people have to feel like this. feel really pissed at me for making you feel something. i think that a lot of us go through life, not knowing how to deal with what we're feeling. but we all have feelings, so the people who don't know, they just hide the feelings away. just stuff it into a corner and hope it will go away. like i did for more than a year after my rape. i thought no one would believe me because it had been a girl. anyway, what i'm talking about, is that i want you all to take a moment, and feel something. really feel it. feel it from the bottom of you teos, to the top of you head. feel it in your hair. let it out. cry. scream. love. hit something. really punch it. just let that feeling move through you. don't try to trap it, or make it go away, just let it pass through you. try to do that once a week, at first. then once a day. then more often. it helps if your alone at first, but start to learn what it feels like. sometimes its better if you have someone to talk to. a lot of people use tape recorders to track their feelings. so, just think about it. or feel it. or whatever.

peace,
Bulldyke

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wishin2binboston's picture

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