i am just coming to terms with my sexuality and i need some support and help. If u have any advice for me please post on this thread. Thanks
You might want to be more specific.
i need help dealing with the fact that im gay and how to deal with my friend sin hard situations
why is being gay something you have to deal with?
its not some thing you have to deal with it is my friends i need to learn how to deal with
Dealing with others begins with understanding one's self. Herein lies the most difficult of issues. Being gay is no different than being a heterosexual in all but one aspect of life. This difference is not obvious even to the most critical observer unless one flaunts his or her sexuality. Given that your friends liked you before your desire to come-out they should continue to the relationship based on those qualities that brought you together in the first place.
In my humble opinion there is no reason to proclaim your sexual difference unless such a proclamation will in some way benefit both parties. An example of this might be some reason to extend the relationship between two people to more than a casual hand-shake. It might be a good idea to focus on those attributes that people admire first. Then when the occasion arises to become more intimate all those other great attributes will help you overcome any negative feedback that may arise from false starts.
Um, I hate to break it to you but sometimes the difference IS obvious. I don't "flaunt" my sexuality as you say but I still set off people's radar. I can't help it, I'm uber butch. And as for there being no reason to "proclaim" one's sexuality I beg to differ. When your friends start drooling over members of the opposite sex, are we suppose to lie and do it too. When our friends use the words fag, gay, queer, dyke in nonfriendly ways should we laugh along with them. Ideally our friends wouldn't care b/c it makes no difference this one small change. But friends do care, they don't want you touching them, they don't want to be seen alone with you. They call you a faggot. Trust me, its been done to me. Coming out I believe is very important. Not every one will like you, true, but then they weren't friends to begin with. I know that is hard to take, but its true. But don't lie and don't hide, be proud. Its all any of us can do. Peace.
"If you think you know what I'm doing wrong well you're gonna have to get in line..." - Ani DiFranco
the important thing is for you to be honest to yourself. Remember that what matters is what you feel, not what other people want or expect you to feel.
It's okay if you like boys, or girls, or both, or neither. We support you here, and although I don't know where you live, wherever it is there are going to be people who will be accepting and supportive. Seek them out, and don't forget that what you feel is primary- not other people's assumptions and expectations.
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Change is the only constant.
Even if you win the race, you're still a rat.
I understand what you are going though,it is hard at first
but over time it gets easier, something that helps it is to say something like I am _____(fill in blank with sexuailty)
Also you will might need some to talk to,if you do e-mail,And I'll what i can to help.
the happy Bisexual