Just confused...

imsxycuziam's picture

I have a dilemma... I don't think I should even be having this dilemma at all. Or maybe it's just me. Or maybe I'm just in denial, I don't know. Should I feel guilty for suddenly having feelings for someone else? It's only human, right? Don't get me wrong, I'm in love with my girlfriend but I don't know why I'm crushing on another girl. Maybe I'm turning out to be just like my dad. Woman after woman, one broken heart after another. Maybe I am... Honestly, I think being a player just comes naturally to me and I don't even intend to play people. I can't be that way. I just can't. I admit I have broken other people's hearts by making them believe that there's hope for me to be in love with them but I don't realize I've made them hope until they tell me. I don't want to be like him. I want my own path, I don't want to follow his but I don't seem to have any control over that.
Tell me it's just temporary.


Campfire's picture

Love is a fickle thing

To the best of my knowledge being a player is not hereditary - though it bodes the nature/nurture question.

You're what, 15/16? From someone who's just left that age group, let me tell you, you'll be amazed at how your feelings change in that time, and how everyone around you changes without you even noticing. I mean I tried to SEE the change people made, but I still find myself looking back and thinking, 'Jesus their so different than back then.' And some people are just a disappointment and don't change.

What I'm getting at is, don't worry about it. Is it love or lust? Lust can feel like love, whether you're 16 or 30, and sometimes it's very hard to differentiate between the two even when you know the answer deep down. If you still love your current girlfriend then I would say stay with her. I know a lot of people look at people who are 16 and think "Aww, teen romance, how sweet" and make you want to vomit with other patronising phrases. However, I know several couples, include my best friend and my sister, who have had a relationship since they were 16. My sister is now 23 and is engaged with this guy. My friend is coming up to her second anniversary with this guy and still very much in love.
Don't ever think you're just being stupid or that your love is just a mixture of hormones, rebellion and lust. It might well be - but that attitude will get your relationship nowhere.

It's difficult to make a judgement about such things when you're basing your opinion on a 12 line post without knowing the people involved, but my own personal values say to stay with the current girlfriend if you still love her.

Lost Angry Youth's picture

maybe you are just mistaking

maybe you are just mistaking affection for attraction.
something i used to do all the time.
feeling affection for someone is totally different from
feeling attraction.
being a player is NOT hereditary but seeing it growing
up as a kid may have sub-conciouslly influenced your behavior
as you are growing up-monkey see ,moneky do.

maybe you feel affection for your girlfriend, but not as much
attraction towards her and the other girl makes up for
what your girlfreind lacks-through attraction.
who knows. just a thought

imsxycuziam's picture


Thanks for the comments LAY and Campfire :) they have definitely helped a lot. Thanks for taking time to help a confused kid a little less confused lol