Seizures and Getting Crushed

pixies_in_the_underworld's picture

It's been a couple of months since I've written, or even been on oasis...I missed it. So much has happened in that short timespan.

I finally told the girl I liked that I liked her, kissed her, and she felt that this made our friendship "stronger." Of course she kept flirting with me, told me that I was the best kiss she had ever had, then told me she wanted to get back together with her ex boyfriend, started flirting with me again, decided not to get back together with her ex, got mad at me for letting a guy grope me (long story), kissed me, and then decided to get back together with him. She's one of my best friends, is really oblivious to what she puts me through, and she's coming over to my house tomorrow for a couple of hours...fun, fun. She's also been complaining that I'm ignoring her and excluding her...hmmm...I wonder why?

There's also this other girl at school I shouldn't get tangled up with, but I currently am. I keep fluxuating between liking her as a person and not liking her as a person but really, really want her. I'll figure it out someday...though my sister would never ever forgive me if I went out with her because she said some things about her.

Not only that, but I've been getting these weird "episodes", which include random spazzing, blurred vision, and twitching...my therapist has ruled out anxiety or panic attacks because my muscles seize up. I saw a neurolgist yesterday and got a ct scan. Today I got an eeg, which is when they put electrodes on my head and monitor my brainwaves. The neurologist thinks it's some mild form of seizure because they keep getting longer and more frequent.

On the brightside, I conned my mom into getting me this great black dress, white shoes, and shirt from out of the closet. The great thing about the dress, is that it's a perfect fit, emphasizing all the right places, and its a mini...classy, but still short. Whenever disaster strikes, a little black dress will always make a girl feel good!

Though my friends and loved ones have really rallied around me right now, I don't know where I'd be without them. It's really strange, one day I woke up with a supportive community who loves me, and I never even noticed it was there. I guess it is true that a person doesn't understand how many people they touch until they're in a situation like this.

Comments

theindigolemon's picture

Oh, dear. I do that all the

Oh, dear. I do that all the time, get mixed up with people who are bad for me. There's this girl who is doing something like that to me. Why do they send such mixed signals? It's really ruining our friendship.