So epuisee

aviva's picture

I feel flat like someone stood on me and forced all the air, and all the energy out of me like a balloon.

A was talking to me today - apologising in Debate Club for something. I thought she was apologising for hating on me being gay - so I was like all energetic to forgive her, but she wasn't. She ws only apologising for calling my girlfriend hormonally imbalanced and masculin......long mother-fucking ass story. And I was like: oh my fucking god, you still don't get it. You're frigging apologising over the goddamn wrong thing - be sorry because you were wrong to hate us for being gay, be sorry because you said i was abnormal and perverted for being in a relationship with a girl and "flaunting" (PS I've been in the closet forever), be sorry because you looked at me and jugded me and expressed sorrow for my future children who will have no choice but to be fags like their sinful parents. God. R all straight people so tedious? Was I like that when I was straight? Am I judging her now?.....fuck fuck fuck.

Had the most amazing AMAZING sex on saturday!!!!!!!!!!!! For like the whole day- yummy. S had the nerve to ask - does it really count as sex? Fuck I hate the question because I wish I could just give them a taste of what les sex is for just a moment and that would maybe answer their question so i wouldn't have to keep defending it. i'm so done with defending anything. Like that guy said on Logo ; " don't have a lifestyle. I have a life." I'm exhausted. so so so so so so so so tired of their shit.

In other news, I'm depressingly in love more more more.... I want her more more more. My other friend is right: you just have to focus on the one you love. focus so hard everything else becomes a blur and you can only see only live for what you were born to breathe for: her. Focus on how happy she makes you. Screw the rest of the world - clearly, they don't know shit.

out.

i'm so tired....... i wanna call her.

keep wanting to fall asleep and die, but i guess i'd miss her.