things to be proud of

bulldyke's picture

okay, i'm back with a vengance, and i'm still going to tell you guys what to be proud of about being gay. i'll start off by saying that we have something to fight for. i know it doesn't sound all that great right now, when we're all depressed, and don't know what to do, or who to come out to, and we don't have any friends, or anyone to talk to, but still, think about it. most people go through life without having a purpose. they wake up in the morning, and say to themselves, 'so, what am i doing today? well, not much. just going to school, then going over to my dad's house for the weekend, and doing my homework, and eventually i'll get a job, and do that, and that's my life story.' they don't know why they're here, they don't understand it, and really, they don't care! so think about it. we have something to care about. someone once said that the closet is an awful place to die. so to all you who want to die (and yeah, i've been there, and yeah, i tried to kill myself, and yeah, i got out of there, and i trusted someone, and i didn't die), think. if you want to die, well, that's your decition. but before you do it, try to trust someone. 'to take a leap/and not to fall/that first step/the hardest of them all'. i wrote that in a poem about coming out. come out to someone before you die. and try to care. find something you like to do. i've found karate. and i love it. it's physical, and i don't have to think about it. i just do it. and i love writing. and helping people. try to do something. get outside your box. no, it's not easy, but then, neither is being alive. but we can survive. i have faith that we can all survive, and we can all make a difference, no matter how small. if we all start caring, the world will change.



boho's picture

That's awesome :) Thanks for

That's awesome :) Thanks for sharing that. While I sympathize with all the sad journal entries every day, It sure is nice to read an encouraging one.

theindigolemon's picture

I don't have a problem with s

I don't have a problem with suicide, and I realize that it's your decision if you want to kill yourself, but you should make sure you're thinking rationally first. Trusting someone isn't the test I would use. Don't kill yourself on a whim, or when you're depressed, or when seeking relief. You have to think, have I experienced all that life has to offer? Do I like it? Is life worth it? Do I owe it to anyone to stay alive? Do I have reason to believe that life will get better and be worth the struggle eventually? Is it worth it to wait? Is it worth it never to know? For most people, and probably most people who commit suicide, death is not the right choice. But for somepeople, maybe it is. (People on death row, who will be tortured and killed, who will do damage to the rest of the world, etc.) Maybe this doesn't really contradict anything you just said, I just wanted to get that out. And having something to fight for is a great reason to live.

bulldyke's picture

right on

you're absolutely right. i agree with what you say. you should write about it more often. here or somewhere else. i'd love to hear more about what you think. e-mail me!

"I can't even think straight!"
"Keep your laws off my body!"