saves_the_day's picture

While standing at my kitchen counter only minutes earlier
I work on making my evening cup of green tea. Yes,
I know that makes me seem old, but tea is slightly
healthier than coffee. Anyways, I put the tea bag in
and it's some kind of raspberry tea! I become slightly
annoyed. Now I sit here thinking, is this frustration
I am having with the tea bag not being Honey Lemon Ginseng
like the frustration I am having with coming out into
my new sexuality and my life?

Could there be a parallel between the
box of tea not being what it is, and me not being true
to what I am? Wait, more like to who I am. I know what
I am. I am gay. I know this for certain, but who am I?
Am I just this 18 year old girl, who has all these dreams
and ambitions for her future? Or is there something
that I'm not telling myself? Life throws you rough times
and being human we're suppose to be able to bounce back
without much harm done, but what happens if we aren't
able to bounce back like we should?

Future. Now there's a scary word.

I wanted to be a professonal basketball play once, then
an artist, and a photographer, then a pediatricain, and
that soon changed to pediatric nurse. Doctors only diagnose,
other than that they don't get much one on one contact
with their patient. I still want to be a pediatric nurse.
I will become one, but my path to this future will happen
on its own will. I took a year off between highschool and
college, and I don't regret it.

Well, I do regret it a little bit because my human
contact has deminished greatly. But my "me" time has done
what it should. It has brought me closer with myself.
It has opened my eyes to who and what I am.

When they said life is like a rollercoaster, they really
did mean it.


rowie's picture

lol at the teabag - you may h

lol at the teabag - you may havve slightly over analized that... :P yeah i wanted to be a doctor too, but i changed my mind also. i decided to do something with less study/paper work and more people contact. good luck!

~~Liebe kann nicht falsch sein~~

**you must be the change you wish to see in the world**

Deformed Emotion's picture

One thing

"I know what I am. I am gay."

Actually I'd say what your are is human and there's a lot more to being human than sexual orientation. My point here is while being gay is part of who you are, it's only a small part and it doesn't change or effect all the rest of the great things that make you who you are. Don't define yourself as gay like is a identity/personality because it's not and it only serves to encourage stereotypes and homophobia. If you don't make a big deal out of it chances are other people won't either. As glbt youth it's up to us to develop acceptance and understanding of glbt people in the people around us so that we can live our lives as a normal part of society and pave the way for future generations.
"Until next time hugs, bubbles and gloop"