i just thought i write how things have been going lately. ive found that its nice to have a place like this. where i cant talk to other people who dont judje me because i love women. lately things have been okay. they would be great if i wasnt so sick all the time but i think im getting better. every night i get to talk to carianne and everything is better. my dad has been on my back about work and aboutgetting programs done and stuff. saturday i spent my day in the hospital. i have a heart murmur and my heart if i get to stressed or excited or really anything in to much excess my chest hurts and my heart doesnt do well. i had an attack on saturday. the day before i was being a jerk to carianne. i was being mean and distand because of how stressed i was. i feel horriable about it. its a day i cant get back with her. but she sounded worried last night on the phone when my chest stated hurting. i dont want her to worry. but how do i tell her that its a fact of life. my heart is bad. she wants me to promise that it wont happen again but i cant. anyway, other than that everything is fine. pretty boring i get to teach a class this week. i love that class there really funny. the other day when i gave a lesson the first while was spent them asking me questions trying to get to know me. i didnt tell them not to ask anything inapropiate but i toold them i would answer every question but they also had to answer the same question. one boy raised his hand (i teach seniors AP americain history) he asked if i had a boyfriend. i toold him no and i asked him if he had one. he smiled and touched a guy in front of him and said they were secretly dating for 2 years now. it was funny. we talked about homosexuality for a second and they all seem to be okay with it. they dont know about me. they had diffrent questions. i dont look like a norml teacher. i have tattoos and an eyebrow and tongue piercing so they all asked about that. what it was like to get all my tattoos how my piercing hurt. but i cant wait to each them another day of it. were on the revolutionary war. they said general cornwallis looked like a rat a little bit. we had fun. but anyway i have class. so until next time. carianne i love you!