i wish my friend trusted me

alone_at_night's picture

i have this friend (kim)well we were talking on the phone three days go about her boyfriends and stuff and she out of no where tells me that {lea) another friend that i know for years is bi, when i heard that i was stun that (lea) would tell kim that secrect and not tell me sho she known for years. i feel sad that she doesn't trust me with this serect. i haven't told her i know i want her to tell me when she is ready to tell me, but sitll i feel betrayed a little that she would tell kim and not me.

Then again i haven't told her or no one else that i am gay, i think she thinks that i will react bad to it, but i won't react bad and i hope she will tell me. but i now know she won't react bad to knowing that i am gay . it still hurt to find out from kim and not lea.

does antone have any advice on how to deal with this

jeff's picture


It's really up to her who she tells, just like it is up to you to tell or not tell whomever you choose.

Maybe in your attempt to stay closeted, you said something that made her think twice about you being cool with it, or maybe she didn't tell you because she's into you, who knows?

Your real friends will never react poorly to your coming out, only the friends you will eventually discard or drift away from anyway, so there is really no risk. It will be awkward for a bit, but anything beyond that is just speculation and overthinking.

What I learned from your conversation is that Kim can't keep secrets, not that Lea did anything wrong. :-)

Duct Tape Fairy's picture


Like Jeff said- it is really her choice.
However, one thing to think about is that perhaps the reason she didn't tell you is because she really cares about your friendship and is worried that telling you might ruin it. I don't think that the fact that she hasn't told you says anything about whether or not she trusts you. I have known a friend for over 12 years, and she was one of the last people I came out to. It was not because I didn't trust her, but because I valued her friendship more, and I was worried about putting our friendship in jeopardy. Your friend might just have been getting used to coming out to people, before she starts coming out to someone who whe is close to.
I'm crazy for crying and I'm crazy for trying and I'm crazy for loving you.
-Patsy Cline