I'm going to break on the inside, she's gone up to heaven

Icarus's picture

Oh my god, I'm still in shock. My mom just died and this seems to be the only thing keeping me sane. I know it seems weird, me typing just hours after my mom passing away, but seriously, I think I'd be going postal if I wasn't. We're in the hotel room right now because me, my sisters, and my dad just couldn't handle being in the house after the ME took the...body away. I know it's a crazy ideal, but I can't help believing that my mom's up in heaven right now, watching us from above. She'd been sick for a really long time, like really sick, like she had this flesh-eating thing going on, and I'm glad that she's not in anymore pain, but I'm fucking pissed at god for letting her go so soon. There were a bunch of people in our house for a couple hours, some people we hadn't even talked to in years suddenly coming into our house and acting sad. I think most of them were kind of expecting it. I think what scared me the most was my dad nearly had a nervous breakdown when we were waiting for some people to come. His shoulder were all hunched up, his eyes were wild, he was pacing around the house. But as people came, he calmed down. Oh god, when I had to tell my sister. She was at a fucking sleepover and we had to pick her up. I told her in the car and she totally broke down. I mean like breakdown breakdown. I nearly cried again myself.

Comments

Campfire's picture

So sorry :(

The loss of someone as close as a mother, expected or not, is one of the most tragic things a person can experience. I'm so sorry, and my heart goes out to you and your family, *hugs*

Sirens call's picture

Holy shit

A friend of mine's mum passed away a few months ago, and she said she got so sick of people saying sorry...but I feel so weird if I don't because that's the only thing they teach us to say when something so tragic happens.

So I'm sorry. She's in a better place now, where she doesn't feel pain, though that won't make you feel better.

We're here for you. Stay strong, xox.

rowie's picture

i want to give you a big hug,

i want to give you a big hug, its awful for you right now but make sure you and your family are all there for each other, you all need each other.

--how can you smile with all those tears in your eyes?--

**you must be the change you wish to see in the world**

Anonymous's picture

I know that my saying sorry c

I know that my saying sorry can't possibly help, and from the other person's comment, I hope it doesn't anger you. But I'm sorry.

Just know that we're all here for you, 24/7. It's good that you've found something that will help you at least the tiniest bit right now.

Stay strong. *hugs*

NovaCat's picture

Oh my god. I don't know what

Oh my god. I don't know what I can do but offer my sympathies.