I've Developed a Plan...of Sorts. Maybe. Who Knows?

devildog's picture

Today was, in essence, a mixed bag. Not a nice bag, mind you, but one of those slick yet crusty garbage bags you find on the side of the road, filled with a bunch of half-rotten food and waste, but inside it all is a ring of gold.

Yes, I enjoy metaphor, and by now have grossed myself out.

The morning started off as a typical mom brain fart. Yesterday the power had gone out, and she set the clock badly, so the alarm never went off, and she woke up at 8:20. I had been feeling bad yesterday, and this really didn't help me get off to a good start. My cold seemed to magnify, and I felt the icy anxiety in the pit of my stomach. Nothing was going to help my mood much, so when we got to school I was on the point of tears. I'm usually not like this, but my anxiety just makes my moods so...eratic and crazy.

I told my mom how I was feeling, and she sat me down on a bench and we talked for a while. My feelings poured out, I couldn't not say it-I felt like I was leading a double life, open about being gay at home and every where else I was lying. She aknowledged she didn't know what it was like, and said I didn't have to lie. I could just say the truth.

So, I've decided that's what I'll do. I'm going to stop lying. When the inevitable conversation of boys comes up, I'll just say I'm not into guys. And if they don't like it or get squeamish, Hell, I'm not their babysitter . They'll deal with me and I'll deal with them. They'll probably ask if I'm gay, as a joke most likely, and I'll just say "Maybe." And when it gets brought up again, I'll say "Yes."

I'm going to come out in manigable doses for now;).

Although my sick sense of humour may take over and make me poke at them. What, I'm one of those people who pokes at dead animals with a stick!

LOL, I'm not very sweet, aren't I?

It's a funny thing to think of your peers as dead squirrels.

Comments

kartovla's picture

i think of my peers as dead

i think of my peers as dead squirrels all the time
it is the only way to justify their lack of intelligence

"if young love is just a game then i must have missed the kick off"

devildog's picture

LOL, amen to that! I just hav

LOL, amen to that! I just have to make stuff interesting or I'll die of boredom.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
Oscar Wilde

This always leads to interesting conversations on my part!

kartovla's picture

exactly! "if young love

exactly!

"if young love is just a game then i must have missed the kick off"

gwen29's picture

I don't mean to interrupt...

I’ve no astute words or quick wit but am simply saying that your avatar always makes me smile. The undying wisdom of Calvin and Hobbes with lines like “Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don’t help

devildog's picture

Thanks:). I chose it becuase

Thanks:). I chose it becuase it also makes me smile all the time! Calvin and Hobbes has provided me endless inspiration.

And the Shakesperean oatmeal one if my favourite too! It's one of those things that is simply funny, and you'll never find a way to explain it.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
Oscar Wilde

This always leads to interesting conversations on my part!

Duct Tape Fairy's picture

Smart

Smart! Love your metaphores. Good luck with everything. You sound like a cool person! I'm talking in sentense fragments because I'm tired.
Hugs
-Sarah
_________________________________________________________________
I'm crazy for crying and I'm crazy for trying and I'm crazy for loving you.
-Patsy Cline

devildog's picture

Thanks very much:). LOL,

Thanks very much:).

LOL, we're all tired...without my coffee I would be a dead squirrel too!

That's a neat avatar, by the way;).

~*~*~*~*~*~

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
Oscar Wilde

This always leads to interesting conversations on my part!

rowie's picture

it sounds like your handling

it sounds like your handling this so well, good luck with telling them, im sure it will go fine!

~~Liebe kann nicht falsch sein~~

**you must be the change you wish to see in the world**

devildog's picture

Thanks, and I certainly hope

Thanks, and I certainly hope so^^;.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
Oscar Wilde

This always leads to interesting conversations on my part!