Letter to my mom

Fairylover2008's picture

You said so many times when I was little you would
love me and yet you where no where to be found.
You see you had taken on so many jobs and left me
to raise myself and my siblings. You always said
I was the good girl who would never do anything wrong
so when I say I LOVE someone its wrong. Yet I love
her. I have for years she was someone who was always
around. Remember that time I ran away only you found me
at the neibors house. Someone who was watching me and
who had called you that morning and asked if it was
o.k. for me to come over and you said sure. I was
so mad crying and screaming as you picked me up
and carried me away and then five days later we
moved to the desert. Sand everywhere in my hair
my eyes even in my mouth. I hated it so much. You
where so centered on my little sister because you
assumed at ten I was old enough to care for myself
and didn't even want to try and help. Never mind
if I had homework it was figure it out on your own
I was so sad because we where in a new place and I
was so isolated. The only one who reached out was
Danny and I know you remember him. Someone who
was always there and you had dreams of are marriage
I am sure but then one night climbing into the window
of my bedroom you finally found out and you tryed
to cut off all my connections to the world. I was
so young and so confused and I still am. I don't
understand how you could be so cold and so uncaring
you never understood me. My need for more my need
for love my need to get it all off my crest and yet
it would have helped to have you on my side instead
of fighting against me. You never understood why
I love who I love you didn't understand how i wanted
to go to college the first time cause dad wanted
me to and the second time because I needed people
who understood me and why I refuse to be who you
want me too. I am you daughter not you puppet like it
or hate it I don't care.