about 2 years ago i lost my girlfriend my first one. we meet when i was a freshman and dated till i was 16. on my 16th birthday got drunk and she came to get me and the only eway i would leave is if i could drive. being 16 made me feel amazing. so she said ok to let me leave. in a second i lost everything. one second. one missed red light and everything was gone. i have pins in my ankle shoulder and i have a hip replacment all form being tboned on my right side. i lost her. she died at 11:17 on august 5th. i never thought i could love someone again. but i do with all my heart. but what if i mess it up. what if i do something stupid tlike that again. what if i loose carianne. i couldnt live without her. i cant tell her how scared i am so im writing it down. im so scared of what im capable of messing up. i dont know why but i am so scared. im so scared that when were together i ont be able to drive with her. ill be so scared to let her out of my arms, or it might be better if shes never in them. anyway, its just some things i needed to get out. carianne im sorry i couldnt tell you. its been botherin me. i love you with all my heart and i would die if i lost you.