Online Relationships: Not safe and Unstable

Gerardo's picture

Okay, a few people on oasis have been dating. I thought this issue needed to be brought up. I was going out with someone on here. I understand that you want to go out with someone and feel loved by someone. Online relationships are not the right thing. They have made me hurt and I am just look out for all of you.

The first harm area of online dating is an unconfirmed identity. First of all you could be dating a total freak or pervert. It is not sensible to start a relationship without knowing this person in real life. At least talk on the phone a bit send plenty of pictures etc. TRUTH: People online are not like themselves in real life. That love letter that you see on the screen can not be expressed to your face. They could be lieing right in front of your face, although you have no idea because you can't see them or hear them. Someone online that you might think is a badass, arrogant, rebel could be the exact opposite person you are looking for.

The second harm area of online dating is not being able to have physical contact. When you love someone, you want to be with them. You want to cuddle with them or make love. Online dating limits that. When you listen to them it makes you want them more. It caused a lot of trauma for me, and eventually if you are in one, it will cause a lot for you.

The third harm area of online dating is putting a stop to outside social life. Your social life outside gets ruined when you are online talking to someone you haven't met. I used to wake up early, get to bed late, cancel social trips, etc. and that got me glued to the computer even more. The Internet and computer causes people to become anti-social and more aware. Frankly I believe that ignorance is bliss, and the people that are totally oblivious are the happiest. It is suprising, but hapiness is hard to find when you aren't looking. You could find a soulmate outside of the internet. Just go look. Make friends. Give it time. Thee is no easy way to find LGBT people (unless you live in provincetown mass.) It is hard for all of us not just you.

The final harm area is no trust. The Internet does not let you build trust with your partner. Your partner could be cheating on you with billy under the bleachers and using you for fun!!!

The computer and internet dating put a lot of stress on your daily life. Do not let it ruin yours.

(If I missed anything that anyone would like to add please do! anything constructive is needed)

~Jerry

Comments

w8tin4life's picture

this is ridicules. youve urn

this is ridicules. youve urned this completly around. you all havent talked about the actual subject for wuite some time.

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. ~Boethius, The Consolation of Philosophy, A.D. 524

raining men's picture

Creeped out now

The online sex is creeping me out now. Please stop.

"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suf-fer-ing"

Gerardo's picture

lets stay on subject here and

lets stay on subject here and lets keep positive

who put this on the front page?!

Im going to get eaten alive D=!

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HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Kang Lin's picture

Offline Relationships: Not Safe and Unstable

Okay, a few people on oasis have been dating. I thought this issue needed to be brought up. I was going out with someone offline. I understand that you want to go out with someone and feel loved by someone. Offline relationships are not the right thing. They have made me hurt and I am just look out for all of you.

The first harm area of offline dating is an unconfirmed identity. First of all you could be dating a total freak or pervert. It is not sensible to start a relationship without knowing who this person really is. At least talk to a few people who have known them for far longer. TRUTH: People don't have defined selves in any life. That loving kiss that you feel on your neck can not be expressed as words. They could be lieing to you, although you have no idea because you can't read their mind. Someone that you might think is a badass, arrogant, rebel could be the exact opposite person you are looking for.

The second harm area of offline dating is not being able to have physical contact. When you love someone, you want to be with them. You want to cuddle with them or make love. Being homosexual limits that. You think your parents will allow that under their roof? It caused a lot of trauma for me, and eventually if you are in one, it will cause a lot for you.

The third harm area of dating is putting a stop to outside social life. Your social life outside gets ruined when you have to prioritise one person over another. I used to wake up early, get to bed late, cancel social trips, etc. and that got me glued to his side when I should have been with my friends. Liking one person more than another is deadly to your social life. But don't worry, you could find a soulmate on the internet. Just go look. Make friends. Give it time. Thee is no easy way to find LGBT people (unless you live in provincetown mass.) It is hard for all of us not just you.

The final harm area is no trust. There is no such thing as trust. Humans are mere automaton modelled on chemicals. We do as those chemicals tell us. There's no such thing as love.

Dating puts a lot of stress on your daily life. Attachment leads to pain. Do not let it ruin yours.

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This boils down to "don't trust people". I was immensely hurt by my failed offline relationships but right now (and for a reasonable length of time) I'm more than happy adoring someone from afar. If it wasn't for the net, I might not have met him. Would you tell someone not to date someone that they met in a bar, just because you had bad experiences with a relationship started that way? I think not. It's all a matter of perspective. Just try to tone down the imperatives. Yes, offline only works for you. Well taking drug x works for some people and not for others. Seriously, I found the original posting deeply offensive. Don't try and draw a grayscale scene using only black, you won't get very far.

Gerardo's picture

It seems that everyone is ups

It seems that everyone is upset because I put the no trust....

I meant it is HARDER to build trust and EASIER for people to cheat on you
I didnt say that couldn't happen on offline relationships

I didnt mean to hurt anyone by saying that, but I could much more easily cheat on someone over the internet than in real life

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HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Gerardo's picture

Kang Lin fuck you Why do y

Kang Lin fuck you

Why do you have to mock me? why not just state what is wrong instead of being such a bitch
THIS is about ONLINE relationships not OFFLINE I never said that offline couldn't have harms to it. I said that online has much more
If you dont like it than go fuck a mule because I don't want to hear your shit

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HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Sesshoumaru s male lover's picture

I think that both online&offl

I think that both online&offline dateing have their up&downsides.
Cogito Ergo Sum