Dim's picture

I regret having told my friend I was gay.

Last night, one of my guy friends slept over. Eventually it got to the subject of girls.. Which I must admit, I have become accustomed to lie about.. "oh, yeah.. she's hot.." and so on.
I have no idea what came over me.. cause I know he is hostile towards gays, but when he asked me about a hot girl (from a straight veiwpoint), and I said, no, I wouldt date her..
So I basically told him I wasnt in2 gurls right after that... and his jaw dropped before I could say the last words... He was totally stunned..
For the rest of that night, he was so silent.. - it was awful.
He left early this morning, and I dont expect we'll be keeping in touch. Which is sad.. cause I've known him since we lived in the states at the same time.. like 9yrs old.. so it will be weird not having him in my life. And if we by any chance do stay friends, I can't imagine things will ever be the same.



rowie's picture

dont give up hope - its taken

dont give up hope - its taken you your entire life til probably quite recently to get ok with being gay - you cant expect your friends to be fine straight away and those who are are very special. also, i know this is old and everyone says it but - if he minds that much then he's not a real friend anyway. im sorry if you've lost him but you always have friends here.

+ if i cant be a good example ill just have to be a horrible warning +

**you must be the change you wish to see in the world**

raining men's picture


he may just be kind of shocked, rather than actually hating you. A lot of people take a while to get over the surprise befire they can accpet it, so you may still have a chance you know dude

"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suf-fer-ing"

sugarmagnolia's picture

maybe you could write him a l

maybe you could write him a letter, talking about how he must be shocked and possibly hostile, but you value your friendship and hope he'll be able to accept this part of you. it's worth a shot, and if you remain friends, things may change, but things tend to change regardless of what happens. i don't know your friend, but it may be that the hostility is due to ignorance, and maybe knowing someone who is gay will make him more openminded. maybe not, but it couldn't hurt to try. i hope everything works out.

"freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"

devildog's picture

I'm sorry that happened, it's

I'm sorry that happened, it's so painful. But try to remember this is only his innitial reaction-he may come round and realize he's being an idiot. It's happened to me with friends before, and I really just tortured myself needlessly, since in the end they were fine with it.

But if this does end your friendship, just remember it wasn't your fault, and try to move on, because if he won't try to reconnect the relationship can't be salvaged.


Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde