A bad situation....

help_me_god's picture

My best friend is gay, and i love him so much, but he knows that i would do anything for him... just yesterday, he got angry again. he gets so angry sometimes. he usually gets mad when im talking. anywhay yesterday he slammed my fingers in his locker, he said it was my fault and then walked away, it still hurts. He also called me stupid and that i had my head stuck up my own ass. i had to appoligise to him for making him say and do these things.... i love him so much, but everybody says that im in an abbusive relationship. When he goes out with guys, he doesnt treat them like this... why me? is it just because i let him get away with it? what should i do? when he isnt being a jerk he is really kind to me... im just between a rock and a hard place... because he didnt used to do this... it used to be all fun. now he tells me that he wont tell me he loves me, wont eat anymore, and wont hug me, i guess it complicates things.... who know? finally my internet is back so i can talk to you guys... thanks for listning...

Jagged Problems's picture

Figure It Out...

Have you ever asked him if he still loves you or if he's all right. Maybe he's sick and has come down with something...

help_me_god's picture

Yes

Yeah, i asked him that. he says he still does, but he doesnt feel like saying it anymore. and told me not to ask again. Im at school now, he made me cry on the bus because i asked him if he really feels that i have my head stuck up my ass and that im stupid i asked him how he could like somebody like that.. he says that you take the good with the bad. i dont know how long our friendship is going to last... i just cant let it go that he said those things to me, and made me appoligise for making him say that... i cant ever feel the same way about him again... what do i do?

Jagged Problems's picture

It's beyond your control...

It's beyond your control now. You can either take what he has to dish out and let it go. Or you can stand up and tell him that he can't treat you like shit.

lotus1's picture

if he is a real friend, he wo

if he is a real friend, he wouldn't do that to you.

Patch's picture

If I were you, I'd tell him t

If I were you, I'd tell him to either lighten up or leave you alone. He is definitely taking advantage of you. You gotta stand up to him. One day he may realize that him being such an asshole is not okay. Until then, you gotta leave him alone, and find a new best freiend.

"What is the purpose of life? It is to create our own purpose."

help_me_god's picture

*sigh*

Yeah, i try to tell him that he treats me badly, and i cant just move on and get a new best friend, i want him... nobody else. This is a new thing thats been happening, he used to treat me like a princess... i dont know what happned. I guess ill just have to take it, because he isnt changing for anybody. Also, one of my friends sent me this site... http://www.recovery-man.com/abusive/bpd.htm it sounds just like him... he puts on a happy face for everybody but me and his family... what do you all think? If he does have BPD then i want to be there for him, not go away. he needs me, ya know?

Patch's picture

Help from you will only be ap

Help from you will only be appreciated if he wants it, which he obviously doesn't. If he isn't changing, than why stay with him? It's kinda like clinging to the side of the titanic as it goes over and then trying to keep it afloat. He will pull you under unless you get the fuck outta there. IN the end, I can't make you do anything, but to be blunt and honest, sticking to him is stupid. Just as he needs to get help, you need to grow up and realize that you can't do anything for him.

SOmetimes the best thing you can do for someone is to not give them what they want. Maybe when you leave him he will realize what an ass he was. Don't be an idiot. You are just as vulnerable as he is.

"What is the purpose of life? It is to create our own purpose."

twitch's picture

I hate to say it... but this

I hate to say it... but this sounds like abuse to me... get counseling or get out - if you can

elraye's picture

Jump Ship

Don't waste your time with anyone who treats you that way. They obviously do NOT care about you. Remember, a long term relationship is based on compassion! pure and simple. There are many more fish in the pond. You sound like a really nice person. You deserve better !!!

ele

yep_im_a_stalker's picture

I have a friend like that...b

I have a friend like that...but I hold in my anger and now I've started letting it out and she says I'm always mad at her...I think you should stop talking to him even if he is a good friend--I know it's hard but I'm sure its for the better.

btw I like the licking smileys--perfectly illustrates my licking fetish.

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*Hopelessly, I'll love you endlessly*

somethingofvalue's picture

When you guys are both feelin

When you guys are both feeling calm, ask him about it. Have most of what you're going to say planned out and stay rational, no matter how mad he may get. Try talking to him maybe twice, but if he just gets mad both times then tell him you guys can't be friends anymore because you're feeling abused (don't blame!). Use lots of "I statements" I feel ____ and I want you to ____ for me. Hope that helps! *Hugs*

~Kry

sugarmagnolia's picture

you're friend sounds like he

you're friend sounds like he needs help, by let him act this way toward you, you are enabling whatever personal problems he has. this is not ok. tell him that what he is doing is wrong and hurtful, and that he needs to get help. he is being abusive. this is not your fault, and you should not have to apologize for what he has done to you. the minute he starts acting this way, tell him that you will not accept his behavior any more, and walk away. if there is a school counselor or someone like that you can talk to, you should do so, in the long run it will help both you and your friend.inform him that he needs to get help, and cut yourself off from him until he does.

"freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"