captchaos's picture

I almost came out to my mom about being bi. Unfortunately, she was already stressed out as it was so I decided against it. I've been trying to find the right time to do it but every time I build up the courage to do it it just no longer seems like it's a good time. Can someone help me out please?

the mouse that roared's picture


I am so like that when it comes to coming out to people who I'm close to or who I don't know will be accepting. It takes me months--sometimes years--to get up the courage. Now that I'm out to my family and most of my friends, though, it's a relief to be done with it. For me, no one's been badly accepting of me yet. Of course, I haven't come out to my homophobic friends yet.

There is no perfect time to come out. There will always be something that seems wrong about the situation, particularly if you are afraid about it, which most people are when they first come out. It does get easier with time. Though there isn't ever a perfect coming-out time, there is a right time in your acceptance proccess for you to come out, which is when you feel completely ready and sure that you're not straight. With parents who may be really unaccepting, you might want to wait until you're 18 to tell them. It's generally good to start with people who will be accepting so they can support you to come out.

About actually coming out, I have to push myself to say it, but it's like pushing myself to gather momentum to sled down a hill: once I do it, it's out there and I can't go back. I usually like to come out in a roundabout way: "Has your gaydar figured out that I'm not straight?" rather than randomly saying, "I'm gay!" Usually if I don't plan out a roundabout idea to begin with, I don't feel comfortable enough to be random. That's just me though. The main thing is to find what works for you to get yourself to say it.

That was rather rambly, but I hope it helped. Also try looking up coming out to parents online and in the back forums. Good luck!

Are you hanging on to something useless just because you think it's beautiful?
--William Zinsser