birthday

fairy.'s picture

Shit. I am going to be 14 in less than two weeks. I am freaking out, its just making me think of the past year, all the stuff that has happened.

I mean, since my last birthday I have:

Had my first crush on a girl, gotten really scared, and faked a crush on my best friend (a guy), totally screwing up our friendship.

Moved away, which causes me to get REALLY depressed cause I am leaving my only real friends. But I eventually get over it and get out there in the city and meet some of the greatest people I have ever known. Fall for an older girl and finally admit I am gay.

Come out to one of these new friends, plus another friend, and gradually to a load of other people.

And just when I'm feeling okay again, not so depressed and heading to suicidal, it's time to move back to winter home, facing all the terrible shit I have done there (which is a lot, I was a terrible brat).

All this is only half of it, if I wrote the entirety it would take hours.

And now I am really moody, scared, and occaisonally happy in a moderatly insane way.

This may not seem so big to you, but in a life where before now my biggest excitements were my twice a year dance performances, this has been crazy.

I just re-read this and realized it is not even close to articulate, but I am to tired to re write it. You'll get the point.

Comments

devildog's picture

I can relate, that sounds so

I can relate, that sounds so much like my past year. It is freaky to look back on these things and to have to face them.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde