Bootylicious

Jagged Problems's picture

[I call today's topic bootylicious because of a comedy routine]

Today was an interesting day. I have a secret but I can't tell
you because of the people watching look for it tomorrow and
remind me if you can.

I started this morning by waking up late because I forgot to
reset my alarm for 5:30 because I turn it off during the
weekend. But even though I woke up late, I still had enough
time to get ready, listen to Alanis Morissette, and work
on a book of logic puzzles. I left the house around 6:56...

...yada yada yada yada...

...1st period, I have gym and right now, we aren't doing much
but playing badminton.
In Biology, I had a sub and we watched a really stupid
video on the digestive system from the '70s and for the second
part of the 2 periods, we had a test. Personally, I think I
failed that test. It it more big words than you could shake a
stick at... ... or find in the SAT's.
In English, we continued coverage on frequently misused
words and talked on stereotyping. I worked on more logic.
Lunch was the period that we re-enacted a comedy
routine on how fat one of our biggest enemies are. We added
a few things like using celery, carrots, and lettice as a
weapon and her actually being afraid of it! I laughed so
hard I thought I would die. And what's funny was that she
was there when we discussed it!
Spanish was a really interesting period. This is where I
listen to people call each other gay and think "If you don't
shut up, I will shove this purple pen up your ass and make it
look like an accident." This is what I think, not what I say.
And to make it worse, she teaches us a spanish word that sounds
too close to gay.
In Global, I sit behind my best friend Mandy and I personally
think that this is one of the highlights of my school day. Mandy
and I discussed things like how we have an oppurtunity to die
from the bird flu after eating the school's chicken and dying
from heat exhaustion. IT'S NOVEMBER! We also talked about how
those in India could get their cows taken away because cows are
not a sign of power or virility. But the best part was this in
transcript form.

Mandy: [After listening about the news story of modern pirates
is Africa with rocket launchers.] Oh my god! Could you picture
what it was like? "Argh give me your booty!"
Me: But I refuse to give you my booty. It's too bootylicous!
Mandy: "Then give me your necklace!" and it turns out to be
a picture of her butt. "How about the earrings?" and it has
pictures of her butt. "Fine! Give me your face!"
Me: Hey! I paid for that!

It was funny in class. It's not as funny now. But after that,
nothing was really as exciting. And so, I leave you with this
quote:

"Please panic in an orderly fashion!"

Go ahead and discuss this amongst yourselves.

Comments

sugarmagnolia's picture

alright... if you're going to

alright... if you're going to insult some one with veggies, you need to at least spell them correctly... "lettice" not so much
as far as your classmates calling things gay, i can empathize with you. i actually had a journal entry about it. just resond as matter-of-factly as possible, along the lines of "that *insert whatever they called gay here* is attracted to another thing of the same gender?" for example, if someone said, "this book is so gay" you could look at them with utter surprise and say "i never even knew this book had a sexual preference" it won't work in all situations, but when it does, you get to watch ignorant people be confused, which is always fun.

"freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"