child in destress!! SOS

LittleFarmGirl's picture

ok i need major help my mom is gone crazy on me at first she was ok when i came out to her and no anything i wanna do is "steriotypical lesbian" as she says and will bring "unwanted attetion" to myself. umm i need major help she just grounded me yesturday because i wanted an effing haircut so now im not even spose to be on here and i dont know what to do what does she need how do i get her help to go threw this whatever it is?
child in major SOS
~stef

LittleFarmGirl's picture

plz

plz someone help me give me some advice i dont no what to do SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS
~steph

lotus1's picture

ask her why she will not list

ask her why she will not listen to you...just be like"If you love me then you will listen to me"or something like that

wild-blue-yonder's picture

I don't know if the whole "If

I don't know if the whole "If you love me then you will listen to me" would be a good idea... she'd probably feel threatned. But asking why she won't listen might get you some more information. If you can get an honest answer on why she refuses to listen to you (probably because she's scared of something), you'll know what's bothering her so much and maybe you can do something to make her feel better while still being yourself. Right now by the way she's acting, I'd advise you trying to understand her before expecting her to understand you.

She sounds to me like someone who's scared of something, and who is translating her fear into anger. It's so easy to do. If you can find out exactly what's bothering her you'll have a much better handle on the situation.

Good luck with that. Keep us posted on how it goes!

Hugs,
- Blue

Jazzer's picture

Some suggestions

Perhaps your Mom just needs a cooling off period, and this is her way of giving it to herself. If you think you both can keep your cool, I'd try and engage her in a discussion to talk about things--you both could end up learning something about each other.

If talking doesn't work, I'm always an advocate of civil disobedience ala Ghandi.

I hope this helps.

Michael

Some people's kids...I tell ya!

LittleFarmGirl's picture

civil wha?

ive tryed talking to her she just doesnt get it and i stay very clam she just yells at me and sterotypes me and she thinks im trying to chance myself to be more gay which isnt true and i told her that god she need like concleing or something
~steph

somethingofvalue's picture

Just talk to her. Tell her ho

Just talk to her. Tell her how you're feeling. Tell her that all you want to do is be yourself and no one else.

~Kry

LittleFarmGirl's picture

...ehh...

ive tryed that theres no getting through that thick skull
~steph

tyson's picture

i would tell her that its you

i would tell her that its your life not hers, and whatever u are the one thats going to have to live with what u do for the rest of ur live not her, also tell her that you are still the same person inside. if i were you i wouldnt feel to good about that and tell her that, its your choice to be a lesbian. grrrrr parents drive me nutz, i wish i could trade mine sometimes.

Homopbobia - Personal Insecurity of your sexuality.

sugarmagnolia's picture

the "it's my life" routine wi

the "it's my life" routine will get you no where, as you've probably learned. try telling your mom, as calmly as possible, that you want to talk to her. be as mature about it as possible and hopefully she will recognize that you are genuine. tell her that you feel she is misunderstanding you, but also tell her that you understand she has strong feelings about this too. if you show her that you really want to communicate hopefully she will open up and you'll be able to have a discussion with her. maybe suggest that she attend PFLAG, or look up information together. she may just be overwhelmed with the idea at the moment, or may have concerns about your well being. good luck and hang in there :)

"freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"

vel's picture

did you just come out recently?

If so, hopefully she'll get over it soon. But other things to look into might be joint counceling, where someone could mediate between you and your mom - a non-partial councelor, not a Christian family type councelor who will try to "de-gay you." Regular psychologicst can't do that. If your mom would meet with you for therapy that might give you a safe place to explain that you need to be able to have the freedom to express yourself and be happy.

Keep posting. We'll try to come up with some more ideas.

Best of luck dear.

Love and Peace,
vel

Barralai's picture

Parents go thro a series of s

Parents go thro a series of stages when they find out their childs gay, they are (this is most of the order they go thro, some skip around, if you want the full thing go here "http://www.outproud.org/brochure_coming_out.html"
1.SHOCK (OMG He's Gay (LBT)
2.DENIAL (He's (She, She to He, He to She) Isnt gay!)
3. GUILT (Its all my fault, where did I go wrong)
4. FEELINGS EXPRESSED (I'm so sorry, I love you, Anger is also here)
5. MAKING DECISIONS (Kick you out, Never Except you, This is alot of parents end up, not sure about waht to do)
6.TRUE ACCEPTANCE (Again not all parents get this far, But this where they accept you for who you are, and love you no matter what)
--------------------------
"The American Dental Assoc says semen cuts plaque and tartar
by 77%%, Suck a Dick, and Save a Smile!"

lstgrl's picture

SOS

It was a good sign that she was ok with it when you first came out. To me that says that maybe she would be willing to seek some joint counseling. Also, if you can find a support group, either through your school or your doctor. Surround yourself with good friends. Give it time, you are still young, it takes a long time to figure out who you are. One suggestion don't deny your true self for anyone, that will cause problems.