Today is what I would call my day of bad news. I learned that one
of my crushes is dating and the other is straight. I cried my eyes
out in lunch today. It's that Celine Dion song, "All By Myself".
That's what I think it is. It's a beautiful song but if you focus
on the lyrics, it makes you realize everything you don't have.
The key term is Myself. That means that all you have is yourself. I
listened to it once last night and twice this morning and I screwed
myself up. I didn't realize how much it hurt until I got news from
my best friend, Toni that the hot guy that I admire is actually
dating and no longer a virgin. That made me take into account the
fact that I can never have what I want when I calmed down. That
brought me into another depression into Spanish when I realized that
I'm being shallow. And I'm sorry for it.
I guess depression for me is kind of like an earthquake. After I
finally calm down, I'm suceptible to more softer ones and I got one
when my Spanish teacher asked if I was okay. I'm sorry for all my
pessimism so much that I can't tell if I said anything twice. But
that doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm okay now and I'll
be fine tomorrow. And that's because I've realized that I have my
friends and they care so much for me.