I don't want to be gay! Why can't I be straight?!

Shenlong the Arcane's picture

As the title says I don't want to be. I'm not homophobic, I have gay friends, and I'm gay, but I want to like girls
why do I have to like guys? It hurts, I just don't want to be gay, the discrimination, the not being able to have
kids or adopt or marry. I've wanted a wie since I was little but I'm not interested in girls. It sucks. My town
has pretty much pushed all queer people and liberal-ness into hiding. I want to be like my straight friends. I've been
clinging onto being bi like it was the last part of me. I just want to be straight.

jeff's picture


I'm actually seeing if there's a setting to close comments off after 3 months of inactivity or somesuch on journals and forums.

"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis

jenniferhomes's picture

I am a straight girl..

I am a straight girl..

lonewolf678's picture


...this helps how?

kahough's picture

Been there, done that

It is a hard thing, coming to terms with your sexual orientation. Been there, done that. This site helped me several years ago when I was having a hard time with my sexuality. This place is filled with a lot of good people who can help.
It is not fair, what we have to deal with, the prejudice, the rights that we don't have, but it does get better. You have to be strong and surround yourself with people who care about you and who can help you. When I was coming out I wished I had someone to talk to who could help me and understand. Oasis and all the people on this site helped a great deal.
In my experience it is hard for family to come around to the idea of a family member being different. They will come around. My family had a hard time at first, but now they are loving and accepting of every aspect of my life. They love my girlfriend, and even allow us to share a bed when we visit them.
It is hard, but you can make it through this. What makes things worse is when you try to fight it. Learn to accept yourself and love yourself. If you can't accept it or love yourself, it makes it hard for others to do the same. You learn to grow a tough skin and be proud of who you are. Remeber, learn to love yourself and be tough through the rough patches, it will get better, it always does, I promise.

irishlad's picture

i would rather die that stay gay

i dont wanna be this way. i have got gay friends an i have gd time wif them but being gay just hurts me so much my family an that no i am an there fine wif it but am not my family dont no i have tried to take my life many times just to try an stop the pain it just hurts so much i tried talking to a few friend bout it but they dont no how to help me i just want it to al be over go to sleep never walk up.

funnyflyby's picture


I'm so sorry, irishlad... there's nothing I can really say...
Oasis will help, I hope...
Oh, no... don't do suicide... nomatterWHAT... I'm here...
Ya, this is for everybody who's all depressed like that, actually.
Stay on Oasis.

badpuppyza's picture

I hate being gay ...

I wish I could be straight. I've been praying for the longest time, but it somehow doesn't happen. My parents first found out that I was gay when I was around 17 years old, and they found texts from my then boyfriend. I was in very deep trouble, and I was told that Im busy killing them. They also kept on telling me that by being gay, I'm telling them that they've failed as parents and that I'm ungrateful for the life they gave me. This never crossed my mind, but they wouldn't listen to reason. They kept close tabs on me and I had to give up my phone, computer, tv, boyfriend, friends, social and extra-mural school activities, etc, because i broke their trust. I was forced by them to confess that I was not gay. I did this because I was still in school and couldnt afford to move out. For almost a year I wasnt allowed to talk to anyone or go anywhere (even the shops) because my parents couldnt trust me. I hated this. I eventually got a girlfriend, which i decided, would only be a front. My parents were happy and they started backing off. Eventually I couldnt go on with the relationship due to the fact that the relationship was nearing the intercourse stage and i felt that it would be untrue to myself to go that far with a girl. I kept on dating girls up to that stage for years, until I met a guy, I now refer to as satan. I dated him for a long while without my parents knowing, and he basically broke me down completely. I cought him cheating on my various times. He was constantly mean, and never said anything good about me. We were only intimite on the first night we met and afterwards about 5 more times, because he said he was on medication and was not feeling very sexual. In the meantime he was cheating on me with all of his friends, anonomous people and even my straight friends. He broke me down that I had nothing left. After him, I dated a lot of guys who were also mean and used me for sex or security / money. My parents found out about the guy I call satan, and they were very disappointed again. I promised to turn straight but didnt. I was looking for gay friends and love, but only found users and people who only thing about themselves. I found that all the gay guys I met, had alterior motives. They were all dishonest, two faced, cheaters and it showed me why my community so disliked gay people. I eventually met my current boyfriend. Weve been together for almost 4 years now. I basically support him financially and he makes no contribution other than a few chores he helps out with. He also works for me, but he gets a very generous salary, which he spends on himself only. He never lets me talk, and he is generally always mean to me. He keeps saying terrible things, and hurts my feelings. I do not look or act gay, and I do not like the general gay population in my community, as explained above. We broke up earlier and he got a lot of people interested in him, and nobody even knew I was gay if I went out, bacause its not like me to act all dramatic or flamboyant. I realised that he is better than the other gay guys and took him back. I think I might have made a mistake because he is really mean and always tries to make me angry or sad. I hate my life now. Were always fighting (but its been like this since the beginning). He never wants to listen to me. I must just do whatever he says and ask "how high" if he says to jump. I want to be straight. I believe a girl would be able to appreciate me and not be as mean as the guys. i look very straight and most people dont believe im gay in anycase. I am, however quite sensitive, but I think its a good thing. I always try to make the person Im with very happy, but no-one ever does the same for me. I hate gay people because of how they are. I want to be with a girl, get married and have children. I dont know what to do. If i drop my boyfriend, maybe the girl thing doesnt work out and Im off far worse than I am now, with maybe worse guys. He also has nothing in life and Im not a monster. I just want to be happy and have someone Im good enough for.

jeff's picture

This is...

a very old forum, so you'll get more responses if you repost this as a journal entry, using the link at the top right of the site.

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

CoastJerry's picture

I wish

I wish I could give you a hug. The parents and poor relationships you've had, its simply off the charts. My prayer is that you'll find the love you and all of us need in this life.


advice's picture


hey man i hate to hear that the guys uve met have been so abusive, fisrt off im not like that, second leave his ass on the curb, fuck em, not literally. u seem to be a smart guy make a living for ur self. i dont know how old u are now but u dont deserve that kind of shit. put ur foot down, and find someone that makes YOU happy. i bet u havent heard that allot eh, its always do wat makes ur parents happy or friends of lovers.. stop pleasing people and start doing things that make YOU happy. " life not about letting the storm pass its about learning to dance in the rain"

Christi's picture

Hey :D

Hi everybody. Im 17. I just read all the comments and i honestly think that...if you are gay thats a condition of who you are, a part of you...in the same way we found ourselves with a lot of things that dislike us about who/what/why/we are. We just need to carry on with that, it only can make us stronger and increase the security in ourselves. We all can change, lie and hide who we are...but you still being you. I always hated the "being gay" idea until I realized that I was one and that i should continue with my life. I had many girlfriends and i felt things for them, but nothing compared to what I felt for a boy :/ So i just get over it...nobody knows it, just my "best friend" and its quite...hard to live like this...but well i think that we must see it as a test of life, something to overcome to grow as people, to learn to love and to love others.
Anyway i tried to kill myself, till i realized that it was stupid and worthless. This is what i am, and i love me; yeah there are a lot of thing ill never do...but i dont care about them really, i just wanna love somebady and be loved. And YEs the "normal people", the society, etc etc doesnt helps pretty much :/ But anyway, we must carry one with our lives, life is such a beautifull thing, but it always depends on wih eyes we look at it.
If anyone wants to talk add me :D
Thanks for all guys ^^

ferrets's picture


reading all these comments makes me sad. i wish i could lend a comforting arm and a soft word to all who are unhappy with who they are :/

"A loving man and woman in a committed relationship can marry. Dogs, no matter what their relationship, are not allowed to marry. How should society treat gays and lesbians in committed relationships? As dogs or as humans?"

PT's picture


If you want to be straight that bad, do it... hit on girls... but I tell you this my friend, you are going to have a hard life, if you don't do what makes you feel happy. As hard as it seems right now, perhaps you should step aside and take a look at your life from a different angle. Who says you have to stay in your town? If you are young, maybe you do now, but there will be a time that you should be working toward to get out of there. Who says you have to like your friends... You don't have to do anything other then what you set forth to earn. Whatever you believe in enough, and whatever you strive for is your threshold to pass into the life that you want. You don't want to be straight, you just want things to be easier... But straight people don't have it that easy, I am sure you see them going through other hardships that have nothing to do with their sexuality. People always want things, when they don't see what they already have is enough.

lonewolf678's picture

Is it me?

Or does this forum topic get revived every month?

jeff's picture


by a new member. I think they type some fragment of the title into Google and end up here.

"Why be given a body if you have to keep it locked up in a case like a rare, rare fiddle?" - Katherine Mansfield

advice's picture

guys stop.. be proud

hey guys i hate to see guys like this. being gay is no more wrong then being black or jewish. we live in hard times no dought . but be proud of who you are, your sexuality does define who you are as person. stop feeling sad about it, and live ur life how u want to live it. u keep saying u dont want to be gay and u wish u were straight. thats not true. the only reason u feel that way is because uve surrounded ur self with the wrong kind of people. people who really care about you wont care if ur gay or not because they like you for who u are as person not who u choose to love. u guys are all special in ur own way and u will eventually come to peace with it, and the people left after the dust clears are the ones who truely care for u. be proud of who u are guys and girls u are a human just like everyone else and it is your right to be yourself. " lifes not about letting the storm pass its about learning to dance in the rain!


lonewolf678's picture

Good advice,

although this would have helped when the topic was created in 2005.

advice's picture

lol yea i know eh:P

lol yea i know eh:P

socialist's picture

Don't worry

Have pride. I got over never having kids. You can always move to New York, California, or DC, and then you can marry and adopt. You'd be more likely to find a husband in California.

ggd's picture


I was a tomboy when I was a little girl. When I hit adolescence I started to want to be more like a girl but felt physically attracted to other girls. Yeah, it's hard feeling like that. Must have got more feminine hormones at puberty.

Through the years I've learned a lot from that though. The greatest love I've ever felt is from loving a person enough to sacrifice for them. This came to me after my best friend ditched me because she thought I was gay. I wondered if she knew what I felt and if she could read my mind and if I hurt her. This lead me to a lot of pain and later a lot of peace through realizing I could make different choices, all I wanted was that friendship back! Many years have passed since then and I've never had any kind of sexual relationship with women.

Recently I've noticed my hormones changing again since the abrupt change at puberty. I've been feeling at times more and more attracted to men. I believe it's hormones that make us feel feminine or masculine or attracted to men or women. I know that foods and exposure to chemicals can change our hormones (men are exposed to a lot of xenoestrogens in our environment). I once went to a chiropractor and came home instantly feeling more feminine (I've never been a "girly girl") and extremely attracted to men, so I know that it's hormones that make me feel that way and it's instant. I think eating unprocessed food has also balanced my hormones. Maybe I'll try some acupuncture. So it's been an interesting ride, some tough times, but I'm way stronger now, not really attracted to women and more compassionate and understanding of different people. We are all the same really, just different circumstances, different hormones, different bodies.

This has helped me love better and helped me spiritually rather than destroy me as I've hung on and hormones can be balanced and changed so that even the desire is different now. I'm glad I can have solid non-sexual relationships with women. But yeah some of those years were difficult because of my feelings. Nothing can destroy us unless we let it and nobody can destroy us unless we let them. But I wouldn't change it, this is what I was meant to wade through. I know that answers and peace come if you hold on long enough. Love ya.

Bally bla bla.com's picture

I cannot believe my life turned out like this

From an early age I never ever ever wanted to be gay. It broke my heart the day I had to accept it, it took me a long long time to do so. Being cute I had no problem meeting people, I would be so fussy and would never make eye contact. I had to go to a healer for like a year to learn how to walk into a bar and surround myself in blue light (in my imagination) just to feel comfortable because people would look at me and it made me feel like they were looking thru me... Anyway all I can say is I would honestly do anything not to be gay, like I wish I could undergo some sort of I don't know nuclear brain transplant. I just think its so lonely, I am all on my own. If you seen me you would never ever think I was lonely, I paraglide, I ski, I wear nice clothes, I buy nice things for myself, I like the outdoors, I am into nature but honestly I feel alone. Like I am on my own on planet earth, I have given up on the fact that I have a perfectly formed healthy me body inside and out and yet I cannot share it with anyone, like I will never find the love of my life. I JUST WISH I WAS STRAIGHT BECAUSE GIRLS ARE MUCH NICER THAN GUYS AND I NEVER WANTED TO SPEND MY LIFE ON MY OWN, BUT HEY I AM USED TO IT BUT STILL I WOULD HAVE PREFERRED TO BE STRAIGHT AND JUST BE LOVED.

lonewolf678's picture

I suggest making a journal entry,

this way you can get more responses.

esqimo's picture

Would love updates!

i was directed to this site from googling something quite unrelated, but it drew my attention and broke my heart to read all these struggles. i would love to read how all these folks have managed over the years to (hopefully) come to terms with their own beautiful and unique (and TOTALLY OK :) sexuality. it has been a while for me so i often forget that i too struggled with my sexuality when i was younger. i have always wanted a family and always identified as quite feminine (although i never felt as girly as others seemed to), and i have always had mostly male friends and been attracted to boys. but there were other hidden thoughts and feelings i had that i now recognise as early signs that i was queer. i am lucky that i come from an open-minded and supportive family and i never had to struggle with the effects of religious indoctrination in my life, but i was still affected by the general societal homophobia that told me that being straight was the ideal, and in order to have the life i wanted i needed to fit that ideal. i think i was also lucky in that i didn't explore my (homo)sexuality until after high school, which is a very difficult place to be different. (i explored my personality in other pretty gentle ways and was still condemned and ostracized for that at times. NB KIDS: DON'T BE THE JERKS. Be the open-minded, accepting, smart and creative "losers", who will go on to be a million times happier than all the aggressive bullies and cool kids and RULE THE FREAKING WORLD) i went back and forth between women and men in my early 20's, until i realised that i felt more inexplicably "myself" in relationships with women, that i really was gay, that it was ok, and that there as nothing stopping me having a family with a woman (aside from homophobic laws making it difficult in most places) and living a "normal" happy life. I am 31 years old and sexuality is a lovely complex thing to me now, not scary, not limiting, and no orientation is "bad" or "wrong" or even "not ideal". i'd love to hear how everyone else is doing, as i hope it has got easier to accept and fully embrace yourself in time.

johanas's picture

So sad

Came accross this by accident searching for something totally different. I felt so sad reading some of the posts. I have known that I was gay since the age of about 9 and am now in my early 50's. At the start it was a little troubling and I kept a low profile at school to avoid any trouble. Once I was free and out in the world it was never an issue. I moved to California in my early 20's and spent a very happy couple of decades there living as a totally open and out gay man. Maybe it was the answer. When you are surrounded by other gay people and in a more tollerant society the issue becomes a non issue. As I matured (in years) the need to be with my own "tribe" became less and I moved back to the UK. I now live back in mainstream society. My friends of course know but I no longer feel that others need to know what I do in bed; which is admittedly very little now! I have never wanted marriage or kids and maybe I am unusual in that respect. I have had a wonderful and exciting life and have been much more free in that respect than I would have been had I been dealt different cards. I guess that is the point: we are dealt cards and have to make the best of what we have. I have never for more than a nano second wished that I was straight. Once I realised that I was gay the next decision was "OK, what am I going to do about it?". Living a lie or trying to change never even occured to me. I wish the young people going through this all the best and hope that they will realise that it is not the end of the world and a very happy life still awaits them.

rblost1's picture

Can't accept it

I am a male in his 30's. I know I am "that word", but I can't accept it. I have dated girls, but have never had sex (with anybody - sad I know). I have felt this way since I can remember, but I was also molested at a young age. I have always told myself that I am this way because I was molested, and since I was not born this way, but made this way, there is a chance I can still become straight with therapy. My life has been a struggle everyday. My heart tells me to like men, but my mind tells me to like women. My mind tells me being attracted to the same sex is wrong, but my heart feels nothing for the opposit sex. When I say I am in my 30's, I mean 39. So, I will actually be a 40 year old virgin. Life is great!

jeff's picture


I think you have it backwards, you aren't gay because you were molested, but probably molested because you're gay. As a gay man, you can sort of see kids where you're like, good chance that one'll end up gay, through mannerisms, disposition, etc.

So, if a sexual predator was able to sort of detect that, even though it may have been subtle or as yet unknown to you, it makes you a better victim. This is my personal theory, having not been molested, so take it for what it's worth.

That said, half your life you're trying so hard to be straight and failing, while also being gay and failing. Surely it's better to settle for gay and try and find happiness.

Beyond that, this is a youth site, so not a good site for you to try and finally find a gay guy to date.

"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

rblost1's picture


First of all, this is the first gay chat I found that was NOT about trying to find a gay guy to date. Since "I Cant accept it" (being gay) why would I be trying to find a date? Second, I read several posts to make sure that this was not a youth site only (I did read posts from older adults). My purpose was to find people that I could talk to who feel the same way (a support group) Third, to say that I was molested because I am gay, was ignorant. I was 5 years old and this was a disgusting older distant cousin. I clearly found the wrong place for support...thanks.

jeff's picture


First, I suggested you find someone to date because you are putting more energy into figure out if and why you're gay than it would take to accept it and actually enjoy life. So, the idea was that you need to get out there and start accepting yourself, but this probably isn't a good site for that.

Second, it is a youth site (save for me and one volunteer, I think everyone that posts is under 22?). In some threads (like this one) that tend to show in Google results, you'll find some older people, but they aren't active site members, just people who post here and disappear. The average age of site members is probably around 16?

Third, I'm fine with what I said there. Would I say that to a teen with the same issue? No. But at this point, you're gay. If you figure out why, it won't solve a mystery, because the mystery is just something you enjoy to keep you from proceeding with having a life. Was I molested? Did I not have a strong paternal blahblah... doesn't matter. All answering that will get you is why you're gay, which you already know. You can solve this mystery while you start making your life better.

But, yeah, this isn't a good site for it.

"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

MaddieJoy's picture

I went through a phase where

I went through a phase where I REALLY didn't want to be bi. I didn't want to deal with the stereotypes (I am pretty much the opposite of most of them). I'm still having trouble with it now. All of my "perfect future" daydreams didn't work anymore because I didn't even know my spouse's gender. But I'm starting to feel better now, and I know everything will be OK. You just have to hang in there.
Also, I know everyone says you HAVE TO ACCEPT YOURSELF!!! ...but you don't have to, at least not right away. You just have to know that there's nothing you can do about your sexuality. As my mother says,
"You can dye your hair, but it will always be blonde." And just like your hair color, you'll eventually have to accept your sexuality (or keep dying it red)

"It's a helluva start, knowing what makes you happy."
--Lucille Ball

adeters88's picture

Love is the answer

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all of you who feel this way. The feeling of not being able to accept yourself. The feeling of regret and defeat. I want to help you, I want to hug you. Do you know why? Because you ARE a HUMAN being. You are so beautiful, complex, intricate, and more full of life than any organism on the planet. I read all of these posts and bawled my eyes out. This is a genuine concern. People don't understand that society's inability to fully accept us has long lasting effects. I understand my destiny now. I want to help young people understand themselves more. I want young people to LOVE themselves more. I want everyone to grow and develop into loving people, with understanding. No matter who you are, I love you.

Message me if you need help.


...AndImAChristian20's picture

Aww. You guys! I'm still in

Aww. You guys! I'm still in the questioning stage. I think I might be a lesbian, or even bisexual, but...UGH! What about sex?! I mean, I'm okay with my homosexuality, if I truly am gay. I fought it for a long time, but now I'm okay with it. I love the idea of having a woman to take care of and cook for and dry her tears. I'm just trying to figure out where to draw the line between a really good best friend and a lesbian. But, seriously. I'm having a hard time with the fact that I might never have sex.

kaizerkid33's picture

Struggling and questioning

I'm an 18 year old kid who had the gay sex he could have in the world. Yeah the dicks are pretty bountiful but with all those sex and stuff, I still feel that there is something missing. From there I thought that I might be straight. but maybe not. I don't know. I'm so confused right now. I'm courting a girl now and we're doing great but I feel like I am just fooling myself. I really do want some help or advice from people who survived or managed to 'fix' or end this phase. My family hates gay people so they don't know, my girlfriend do not know I'm gay, even my friends. I feel so terrible. :( I dont want to hurt anybody, please I need someone to talk to, I could really use a friend who can understand. :(

radiosilence95's picture



jeff's picture

Not a good thing...

since I think it's all "I don't want to be gay" searches on Google.

"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

Damo's picture


I know it hurts but you can't fight this forever, we are as we were made. I don't want to be like this, I had a girlfriend for a while but I realised that there was no spark for me in it. People know I feel this way, I've even told a few, but I'm still having trouble coming to terms with it. Please, stop fighting what you are, it can only hurt you in the end


wowzer28's picture

I used to be gay

Hi I was just letting you know that you can change the gender that you love. I know because I used to be gay. Let's face it... I had people suck me and I would suck them back; I french kissed other guys and it felt good to me: I even had someone stick their d*** up my butt and i enjoyed it. I changed all of that by one day asking a girl out just to see what it was like to have a girlfriend, not a boyfriend. It turned out that girls are VERY good kissers, not having to feel all of that scratchy stubble on my lips. You can turn straight if you really want to. I mean, I did. So, Dude, just ask a girl out to see if you prefer sexy women or gay men better. It's all your call.
P.S. I am happily married now and have two of my own kids (ages 2 & 5)

If this doesn't change your mind, then maybe you are meant to be gay. But I confess there are a few pros about being gay:
1. You get twice as many clothes if your partner wears the same size as you (mine did and it saved me alot of money)
2. You get unlimited s** because you and your partner both want it
3. You get in better shape
If you pretend to be gay then you:
1. Get more girls because girls love hard to get and a gay guy is definitely hard to get
2. You learn all of the things girls like because they trust you with their secrets

elph's picture

You were aware...

...that the subject "I used to be gay" would be extremely controversial with readers and members of Oasis? :(

The current consensus among psychologists is that true gayness is innate and immutable. Are you saying that your experience suggests that this may not be fact?

I'm wondering if you may have assumed from your youthful forays into the joys of sex, you found that sharing your newly-acquired talents with other males just left no time for considering the possibility that your libidinal instincts could be similarly satiated through female involvement? And... just maybe... that this non-involvement with females at this early age led you to the conclusion, "I must be gay?"

You did not mention whether in your pursuit of orgiastic ecstasies in your early years you were conscious of any affection (if only temporary) for your partner/student... and with the thought that that affection could be shared only with another male... If that affection for your partner extended only to the hope that you would prove to be an indispensable agent for a mind-blowing orgasm, this by itself does not provide credence to your innate gayness!

Gay is established by the fact that you envisage forming an affectionate, loving, and lasting relationship with another only of the same sex. Hints in this direction may also be inferred --- but not confirmed ---by looking at the sex of those with whom you may enjoy sharing sexual pleasures... but ultimately it comes down to whether your dreams are to spend intimate moments only with the same sex!

Using this criteria, would you still characterize yourself as having been once gay... but now, no longer?

jeff's picture


When I saw this was posted, i came over to delete it last night, but since it wasn't about praying away the gay, I left it, since to me, it just highlighted a problem, which is bisexual invisibility. How people think they're gay when they're with a same sex partner and straight when with an opposite sex partner, when in fact both are wrong, and they are just bi all the time.

So, you used to be gay, you think you're straight, but you're really just bi.

"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

johndoe33356's picture

If your gay and don't want to be, you don't have to be

I also struggle with this. I even made a fake email to post this. One thing I hate is when people say, if your gay accept it, it's something you'll never be able to change. This is the easy way out, it's too hard of a struggle so therefore you give in. What I would suggest is if you are a teen like me, fight through it. This is of course if you haven't came out, I'd say fake it till you make it. For me I think it's just a matter of hormones, you haven't experienced much with a girl and like most men you've had at least one gay encounter with a friend. So when those inevitable hormones kick in all of your memory of sex is gay, there for your fantasies are usually gay. I know that this is not the same case for everyone, maybe your grown and you still are gay. All I could offer is fight through it, train yourself how to think. I hate to go against morals but one of my friends who also goes through this says that maybe he just needs to convince himself he's not gay, which if you are desperate enough, might mean becoming that bastard that sleeps around with women. I'm not condoning these actions but desperate times call for desperate measures. This might be the most selfish thing you could do but in the end, you'll actually know if your gay or straight.

jeff's picture

Good luck...

But you really have no evidence of this succeeding.

I do liken it to telling someone black if they tried hard enough, they could be white.

"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

elph's picture


Your comment is right on!

In fact... I found wading through Johndoe's "advice" just a bit tedious... particularly after "morality" was introduced...

Teacup169's picture

Why Me?

I ask god everyday when I wake up, why me? Why do I have to be gay. Why can't I just hide for the rest of my lode in a whole and wait to die. I don't know how to deal with it and frankly, I don't even want to have to deal with it.

anarchist's picture

Start a new post about this.

It isn't relevant.

jeff's picture


First of all: Why not you?

How do you deal with it? Pretty easy. You read about it, find a site like this where you find other people in your situation, start to realize it isn't as big a deal as it seems, and then you live your life.

As for not wanting to deal with it, you may as well freak out over your eye color and keep wishing they were different, since it's pretty much the same argument.

Hey, Sexy Lady! Oppan Gangnam Style...

anarchist's picture

Jeff. Change your signature.

Gangnam Style isn't cool anymore.

Actually, if there's something on the Internet you've heard of, it probably isn't cool anymore. You don't even go on 4chan.

jeff's picture


I realize I'm not living in the deep hidden underground of Skrillex and Deadmaus, heh.

I have heard of 4chan, though, so I guess by your logic it isn't cool anymore.

Hey, Sexy Lady! Oppan Gangnam Style...

anarchist's picture

I really hope you're kidding.

Skrillex and deadmau5 are the opposite of underground. I'm just telling you this because I think you might actually be serious with that first part. Kromestar and the Widdler are underground.

And you may know of 4chan (because everyone does), but I bet you don't know the boards.

jeff's picture

I am...

...way too old to have any concern for what is or isn't cool.

As for 4chan, since I was active on Something Awful, which was sort of where the 4chan dude was active before starting that site, I think I'm covered.

Hey, Sexy Lady! Oppan Gangnam Style...

Aquriovictor's picture


You sound like my cousion hes gay and he doesnt want to be im gay as well and also didnt want to be gay lol but you are what you are no matter what there is a reason why you dont want to be gay heres my reason my cousion's dad and my dad are ani-gay they tell us bad things about gays like there monsters and killers my dad and my cousions' dad are apart of the armed forces but now im gay and i dont care what the hell people think my cousion is still confused and all like no im not no no no nooooooo! LOL just know your reason and thats all i found out that i was gay that i liked guys and hated it forced myself to be straight but that took me nowhere now im fine with it so dont push yourself to hard!

wowboy1der's picture

being straight

Sometimes being straight is tough too. Even though I have a family and am happy I want to have sex with every woman I see. I have had sex with men sometimes and didn't like it that much, but every once in a while (like today) the notion strikes me. Actually today I really want a guy. I guess that's why I'm here. Hope you guys feel better about being gay though . . . don't know what to say but that I support equality.