I Told Her

saves_the_day's picture

So here I am. Tonight no longer a chicken shit. I told her. I
told my mom that I'm gay. We were making dinner. Standing at
the stove. She was stirring her pot of pasta sides, and I was
stirring my pot of just pasta. My nerves have been so edgy
lately that I haven't been able to eat anything but plain pasta.

I don't know what we were talking about when it all started, but
she has asked me, "Have you ever been asked if you were gay? I mean
you're turning what, 19? next week, and you don't have a boyfriend.
You have a boy friend, but not a boyfriend." I didn't answer. I
walked my butt back to the computer and told my friend, Cera what
she had just asked me. Cera told me, "Well, maybe now would be a
good time to bring it up." I said, "You think?" Then she said something
along the lines of casually telling her something or another. I
don't really remember what. So I told Cera that I'd do my best.
And I'll message her back as soon as it's over.

I walked back over to the stove, stirred my pasta a little more.
"Mom, can I talk to you about something? Well, you know how you just
asked me if I've ever been asked if I were gay, I have. But that's
because I am."

She looked at me and said, "I don't think you are."
Ouch. Burn. That felt grand. Then I tried to explain it.

"I have no sexual feelings for guys, Mom. There's nothing there. I knew
it after Adam came last time. Having him come was a personal test."

She didn't really understand. But she said that if I am there's nothing
she can do about it, and she loves me, and it doesn't matter. Ofcourse,
the above conversation is just a part of what all was said, but we get
the drift. She's been quiet since. It's kind of weird. But I feel better
now that I told her. I might actually be able to sleep at night now.

I'll keep you posted on what happens in the future. I think I might take
my friend Tina's advice and go to the local gay alliance at the campus
in town. It'll be weird, but she said she'll go wth me. I don't know,
right now, I just want to go do something. I can't sit at home right now.
I've got to let you go now, phone call. Crazy sister in law. Have fun.

Comments

the mouse that roared's picture

Yay!

That's great that you got the courage to come out. I'm sorry your mom didn't believe you at first. It probably was because she was a bit surprised, even if she had sort of suspected. It sounds like she is going to be OK about it though, once she gets some time to do it. You must feel a lot better now that it's over. Maybe you can even have pasta with tomato sauce tonight. :)

Are you hanging on to something useless just because you think it's beautiful?
--William Zinsser

Rosebud_flowers's picture

I have a feeling thats the wa

I have a feeling thats the way my mom would react if I told her that I am, but she would believe I am and probably say, "I knew it!" like my sister.
Congradulations, parents are hard to come out to.
Jami

Vertisee's picture

Yay! Congrads on your coming

Yay! Congrads on your coming out. That's really amazing. I wish my parents would take me being bi that way.

taste the rainbow's picture

congrates

"What they don't know can't hurt them

but it sure as hell can hurt me"

Y - GuRl's picture

Hey that's great that you tol

Hey that's great that you told her! Hope you can catch up on some sleep now ay

SeeingBelievingTruth's picture

wow! Congrats on the moment.

wow! Congrats on the moment.

Who Said Georgia Girls are Rednecks, I'm a Yankee and a Lesbian Too!
...just had to prove them wrong...