These have been some of the strangest and most trying days of my life this week. Today, I came out ot my best friend, Rose. I'm not sure why I was so worried, but there it is.
Last night, before going to sleep I had resolved I would do it during break. I kept on repeating, "I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it, if I wait till Monday I'll never do it." So, break came, and I went up to her after doing thesign of the cross (which I NEVER do, so you can see how desperate I am), then said, "I was wondering, could we talk somewhere quiet for a second?" She took me over near the library and I gave the "coming out" speech. I'm very scared to tell you, I really value our friendship, I hope this news won't change anything...etc. Then I took a deep breath and blurted out (with my typical hand gestures) "I'm gay!"
Rose: "I knew you were going to say that."
Me: "Really? You're fine with it?"
Rose: "Yeah, it's fine."
Me: "Did you guess beforehand?"
Rose: "No, I didn't. Just, don't go around advertising it at school."
If you know me, you'd realize how hard that would be for me. I really don't give a shit what people think about me-I'll do what makes me happy and what's me. But I know I should be senstitive to her...I guess she doesn't want us to be known as the "gay" couple. But I would NEVER let that happen, I would of course tell people we're just friends. I should tell her that *makes mental note*.
Anyways, I told her about my wanting to start a GSA. She doesn't think it's such a good idea-it would stop more people from coming to the school, she said. Since it's "Catholic." So, I'm not sure if she's going to support it-I'll debate her into it, though. We do that a lot to eachother.
*sigh* But that's the only part that made me sad, that she wouldn't support the GSA. She was properly apologestic, though!
Well, at least I'm out.
Like Spinning Plates:
The Ongoing Saga of My Quest for a GSA
I had a meeting with the dean of students yesterday at lunch, just the two of us. Which was a mistake in retrospect-I needed a supportive adult there to even the playing field out. Children are not much taken seriously.
She was incredibally condescending. For some unfathomable reason, she's taken it as a cry for help. Last year, I had a bout of depression in the spring (I still made honour roll, however), and I guess she's taken that into account in her assessment.
God, I just wanted to start a freakin' club!
Before hand, she had actually met with the principal and vice principal. "Now, how are we going to help her without losing some of our parents and money, I wonder." I'm going to ask her point blank if this is the reason. It's just not fair that the wellfare of their students should be second to their funding!
She said that they were looking into ways to help me, but they didn't seem to want to do the GSA. They said it would be too "exclusive." She even compared it to the anime club that tried to get started!
Excuse me, but anime fans aren't at risk for killing themselves, substance abuse, depression, and isolation.
I was too shocked to say anything to her, I just meekly left in confusion.
Me: "What the hell just happened?"
I'm going to e-mail my screenwriting teacher, who's helping with me, about coming with me when I talk to her again. That'll help.
And, I'm certain another girl in my screenwriting class is a lesbian. I'll try to reign her into my cause. She'd probably do it just to piss off the administration.
LOL, she's the one I have a slight crush on...he he.
Wish me luck, ladys and gents. I honestly had no idea I would be going so against the grain.
A part of me finds this perversely amusing:).