"It's Pride In A Pencil"

devildog's picture

Remember that brand, Lisa Frank? Well, I've lost all my wonderfully normal Office Max pencils, and so I am left with an eight year old rainbow otter Lisa Frank stub. Which people found very amusing. Yet my friend Rose had no idea what the hell it was, so one of the girls said:

"It's stationary stuff with a bunch of rainbow animals on them."

And in responce, this just slipped out of my mouth:

"It's pride in a pencil!" ...Though I'm not sure she may have gotten it. God, you try to give as many hints as possible!

At lunch, people were talking about America's Next Top Model, and Rose was of course scandalized we could watch such utter garbage. And I laughed, "I don't watch it for the content."

Tell me, can I get more blunt? I don't believe so. Hopefully people are getting it.

Rose still doesn't really mention my coming out to her AT ALL. You'd think she'd have questions about it, or wanted to at least know how I'm doing. I try to give as many hints as possible to show I'm "still gay," but it doesn't seem to be working. I'll write out a letter maybe and give it to her to read, since in these sittuations I'm utterly abysmal. I get flustered, angry, start crying-my emotions completely take over my body. They're so powerful. I haven't really learned to balance them. When I'm happy I'm very happy, and when I'm sad I'm completely miserable.

I seem to have a heightened emotional plane of existance. Yeah me.

Anyways, in screenwriting, the girl I'm frankly lusting after, Martine, read more of her screenplay, and it's about an emerging lesbian romance. And I was just watching her read this, getting completely hot over it...God, how I am tormented. And after school, I watched her playing her guitar for some girl, and I wished it was me. But she's taken, and even though it's not like high school relationships are serious, I have this code of chivalry ingrained in my genetics. If I infringe on it I'll literally be sick at myself. But I really loved listening to her script, and since we were outside I got to watch the cute girls jog by in their short shorts.

Ah, the simple pleasures. Can I be blunt and say I'm horny? Even my mom noticed. Moms know everything. This morning I was in the counselor's office (which I like going to, by the way. She's really nice and helpful. We're working on my communication skills and my lack of assertiveness. LOL), and I was trying SO HARD not to stare at her breasts. Man, it was an effort of pure iron will, especially since they were big, and you could kind of see her nipples through her shirt.

Okay, must stop this train of thought*blusehs*. Ever hear that statistic that guys think of sex every few seconds? This is what I'm rapidly becoming.

Sigh, but I wish I really had a girlfriend, whom I loved and who loved me dearly. I would love that, but it's so hard to meet people...I'm going to ask my mom if I can get some rainbow stuff. Maybe then it'll open the way for conversation, and get me fucking out of the closet at school. I've just ceased lieing anymore, but haven't said it. When people ask about what guy I'm taking to winter formal, or any future boyfriends, I laugh, blush, and smirk, "boyfriend." It just happens, I can't help it. I just know myself now.

Like I said, I'm making up for years of lost time spent repressing my sexual side.

Anyways, adieu.

~Sam

Comments

shattered dreams's picture

funny stuff

yeah the statistic of guys thinking baout sex is almost as often as me. j/k...but no, really my girl gives me a hard time about it. today a conversation went like this... 'J' said to 'B' that he had a big ego, then 'A' said " did you say that he has a big egg roll?" (i know very random...) i replied " wow... my mind is in the gutter" and my girl said "your a pervert"... then everyone gave me a hard time and laughed at me. also for junior year you have to watch the cruciable(sp?) and 'A' said "Wynona Rider is in it" and i replied "thats the best part" also my girl was with me and just looked at me and rolled her eyes. she knows she beats all the other girls, im surprised that she allows this type of behavior from me... or puts up with it.

babysblackbaloon's picture

Teehee

"I don't watch it for the content."

This made me literally laugh out loud, I love that show XD

devildog's picture

LOL, thanks! *snicker*I must

LOL, thanks! *snicker*I must say, I do love those photo shoots:).

~*~*~*~*~*~

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde

kartovla's picture

i think the dude statistic i

i think the dude statistic is true of everyone, girls can just multitask, so usually you cant tell when they brain lapse into pervert mode... ;)
i had soooo much lisa frank stuff when i was little, wow i must have been like a walking pride flag...ha, wish i still had some of it...with the rainbow cats and unicorns and ...that would be...interesting to say the least. i guess that kind of stuff only works when you are little. do they still sell that stuff??
i actually did watch america's next top model...once...models tend to be too skinny...curves are good...

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect"
"if young love is just a game then i must have missed the kick off"

devildog's picture

I think they actually do sell

I think they actually do sell Lisa Frank still-I saw it at target. Man, I also had way too much-all the notebooks, pens, and pencils are still lying around my house. And now I am forced to use them...LOL.

LOL, I know-we certainly can multi-task. I can take a test adn do a five paragraph essay in pervert mode:).

~*~*~*~*~*~

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde

FlyflewAway's picture

pride in pencil AMEN TO THAT

just bought a one of those giant pencils ahaha from claires and i got the rainbow one, no one seems to be getting it but its all good, ill have to bring a more blunt too and have a banner hanging on top of it saying " Its a rainbow for a reason. " =]

I'd never lie to you
Unless I had to, I'll do what I got to
The truth...is you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt - Tbs

devildog's picture

LOL, that would be a fun day!

LOL, that would be a fun day!

~*~*~*~*~*~

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde

sporty15890's picture

They still sell Lisa Frank..t

They still sell Lisa Frank..the kids I babysitt have a notebook with a dog on it..so cute. I think the pride pencil is a good/hilarious idea. People can be so clueless..unless they are on doing it on purpose...isn't the gift of multi tasking great! ;)haha