Mixed Bag

sporty15890's picture

Today started out fine. I stayed after to class talking to my favorite teacher, there is something about her, I don't know, but w/e. Two of my friends just became an "item" which I'm all happy for them but it just makes me feel more alone. Two more friends found out today that i'm bi, I haven't decided if I'm gay, it's like I don't want to let the straight part to go but I really don't like any guys, well i think some are cute..but that's about it. Now I just feel like the gay one, my friends are still my friends..but it's different with my guy friends, there is no fun flirting anymore, cuz they know i'm not interested, and well I kind of just feel like the gay one, with no relationship, I don't even know anyone else that is gay at my school. "sigh" I just wish that I could relate to someone near me, talk to someone...I mean my friends are supportive and all but they really don't want to talk about it..it's ackward.

And..ugh...today because my school's tennis team won states we were honored at the sixers game tonight, which is great I was thrilled..but only 5 girls came..and they were all from the same "popular" group and showed up 30 min. late..I was the only one there and I looked like a loser, I felt so vulnerable and uncomfortable..and once they did come after pictures they immediatley left, so again i was alone...sigh...this was not a great day..and what I don't like is that my parents can tell i'm upset, I can't say why, so I just say i'm tired, but they worry and ask questions..which is nice and all, but I don't like it when they think i'm depressed..which I don't feel I am...I donno...help : (