night time

fairy.'s picture

Sometimes when I'm
all alone
sitting in my room at night
i suddnely just want to sream
in anger or
happiness,
in pain or in fright

but I
don't know why
I don't know why
I can't tell
whether I should
laugh or cry

Dig my nails into my head
scratch myself raw and bloody
lean out into the snow
bounce up and down on my bed.
I want to slice my
pale white arms
giggling as I bleed

but I
don't ----know--- why---
I don't know why
I ---can't----- tell-----
whether I should,
laugh or cry

tears pouring
down my face
this landscape is eery
familiar to my crazed mind
many nights I've been to this place
it's the same but different
every time

but I
I don't ----know--- why---
I don't know why
I ---can't----- tell-----
whether I should,
laugh or cry

I want to
run outside
or go and hide
play in the snow
call some one on the phone.
crawl under my blankets
and shake with sobs
paint a mural
on my ceiling
write a letter of love.

but I
don't ----know--- why---
I don't know why
I ---can't----- tell-----
whether I should,
laugh or cry

I'm laughing now,
bawling loud,
i'm out of breath,
i'm thinking about death
loving life,
in happiness or strife,
and I don't know why,
but I can laugh and cry
loving life
in happiness or strife.