Story of a Lonely Guy

Necro's picture

So, I came out of the closet to all of my friends about seven months ago. That's when I found who I thought was the perfect guy for me. He was exactly what I wanted. He had dark blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and most importantly he was chubby. I really like chubby guys but all of them are pretty much either hicks or homophobic. Which isn't good. But I thought it would all be okay because I was with this wonderful guy that I loved more than anyone else in the world. But all good things must come to an end. On October 29th at 4:00 AM he broke up with me. He said that he didn't love me and never had. He said that he led me on for so long because he liked seeing me happy. Through this whole conversation he was the one balling his eyes out. So Now I don't know what to do. I still love him alot and I can't seem to feel anything for anyone but him. We're friends again and he said that he was glad about that. I just don't know if he actually doesn't love me, or if he is just afraid to be gay. At the begining of our relationship, he said that he was afraid. I don't want to give up on him because I'm afraid that I'll never find anyone I can love as much as him. There aren't exactly a buttload of programs geared towards gay teens in Minnesota. And all the programs that do exist are filled with femmy skinny guys, and I'm not in to that. If anyone has any helpful information, please let me know. I'm going crazy!!!!!