The Untitled Screenplay. Be Warned: 5,000 Words

devildog's picture

FADE IN:

INT. AMBELINE’S BEDROOM—MORNING

We focus upon a small bed, where AMBELINE, a young girl in her junior year of high school, sleeps curled into a tight ball under her comforter. Beside her head an alarm clock flashes 7:00 A.M. on a bedside table, and suddenly the sounds of Bad Days by The Flaming Lips come on. With a moan, Ambeline raises herself groggily.

AMBELINE
Damn it. School.

The room is full of cardboard boxes. She rises from bed and walks over to a particular box, turning it over to read the label, which says DISHES. She roughly opens the box to discover a white China dinner set.

AMBELINE (cont’d)
Where are my clothes?

Sighing, she stomps out the door.

INT. HALLWAY—CONTINUOUSLY

Ambeline marches across the small hallway into the room across from hers.

INT. CADENCE’S BEDROOM—CONTINUOUSLY

Ambeline walks up and sits on the edge of her mother CADENCE’S bed, a middle aged woman with dark blonde hair, who is still soundly asleep. Ambeline sighs, and lies down beside her mother.

AMBELINE
Mom? I have no clothes for school.

Cadence wakes up and, still groggy, lifts up her head.

CADENCE
What?

AMBELINE
I looked at the one box I hadn’t opened, and it was labeled “dishes.

Comments

Inkblot's picture

Awesome!

Just when i got to the good part, it ends. Grrrr. I can't wait for the next part!!!!!!!

I feel sorry for Simon. His mom is an ass. Poor guy.

devildog's picture

Thanks! I feel sorry for

Thanks!

I feel sorry for Simon too:(. He's actually kind of based on me, in a way. Though my mother isn't such a bitch! LOL, my screenwriting teacher wrote that comment in the margins.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde

Icarus's picture

Yaaaay!!!! I wanna play Ambel

Yaaaay!!!! I wanna play Ambeline should this ever be made into a movie!!! She rocks and so does Simon and so does this screenplay!!

*My smile's wound so tight
it's breaking..
My heart's so broken
it's beyond saving...*

devildog's picture

Aw, thank you! LOL, maybe I w

Aw, thank you! LOL, maybe I will make it into a movie someday.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde

Sapincher's picture

I love you.

I love you.

devildog's picture

LOL, thanks:) ~*~*~*~*~*~

LOL, thanks:)

~*~*~*~*~*~

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde

Dim's picture

Dear aspiring writer! ...n

Dear aspiring writer!

...nah. just kidding.

What to say... Well done? Great? Impeccable?
Ummmm..
This document is all of those three, and something extra, I have to say. Screenplays are tricky little buggers.. They require both skill and ingenuity to function, and easily get dull and monotonous. Your text deserves none of these characteristics. On the contrary, you came across as someone who writes with maturity and zest. It was funny too... Keep up the good work.

DIm

devildog's picture

Thank you so much, that means

Thank you so much, that means a lot, it truly does! You've brightened up my day:)

~*~*~*~*~*~

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde

look_who_it_is's picture

that was amazing. there are s

that was amazing. there are some really good writers at my school, but nothing to compare to what you wrote. i loved it and i cant wait to read what comes next!

devildog's picture

Aw, thank you!*hugs* I'm so g

Aw, thank you!*hugs* I'm so glad you like it!

~*~*~*~*~*~

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde

the mouse that roared's picture

Yay

I really liked the characters and the messages here. This is a hopeful, beautiful screenplay. I don't want to critique it if you don't want me to, because you might get mad at me and discouraged. If you want me to give you some comments as to how you could edit it, though, I would be honored.

Are you hanging on to something useless just because you think it's beautiful?
--William Zinsser

DarthMooman's picture

*drools*

More!!

++ Sit down and be quiet. You are drunk, and this is the edge of the roof.++

devildog's picture

*giggles* Ay ay, sir. ~*~*

*giggles* Ay ay, sir.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I’m not as sad as Doestoevsky,
I’m not as clever as Mark Twain,
I’ll only buy a book for the way it looks,
And I'll stick it on the shelf again.
-Belle and Sebastian

yep_im_a_stalker's picture

most excellent---i dont read

most excellent---i dont read stuff like this very often and like it but im glad i read this

C'est genial (i hope thats right....i forget exactly what genial means...i think its close though..)

*Love is blind to everything you throw in its path-Race, gender, religious beliefs, and social class are just minor annoyances.*

devildog's picture

Thanks so much! And yup, geni

Thanks so much! And yup, genial is right:)

~*~*~*~*~*~

I’m not as sad as Doestoevsky,
I’m not as clever as Mark Twain,
I’ll only buy a book for the way it looks,
And I'll stick it on the shelf again.
-Belle and Sebastian

Kang Lin's picture

More!

I think the subject sums it up. It's just such a lovely piece of writing :-)

devildog's picture

*blushes*Thank you! ~*~*~*~*

*blushes*Thank you!
~*~*~*~*~*~

I’m not as sad as Doestoevsky,
I’m not as clever as Mark Twain,
I’ll only buy a book for the way it looks,
And I'll stick it on the shelf again.
-Belle and Sebastian