For some unfathomable reason, I woke up rested. I never wake up feeling good-I'm not depressed, just...tired. Groggy. "Pep"-less. My usual sentence consists of "oog." But this morning I felt great. I'm not sure why this strikes me, it just does.
I talked to my screenwriting teacher again today (I put the desks back as everyone leaves till we're alone), and she told me her conversation with the dean of students. Basically, she said that she wasn't sure starting a GSA in a Catholic school was a good idea, that I would have to show others had done it.
Well, when you give me a challenge...(:
I'm going to really prove my case, and like my teacher said jokingly, guilt trip them. Because I feel so isolated, like I'm the only gay girl there, and others must feel the same way. I want to meet these people so we can support eachother. So, I'm off to do my Super Sam Research thing.
Tonight for Holloween I went out with my friend Rose, tagging along with her little brother and sister. It was pretty fun, I love dressing up and being with her. She's such a great and unusual person. The thing is, though, if I'm going to start this GSA, I'll have to petition. Meaning I'll have to get students to sign saying they're in favour of starting one. Meaning she'll know. Meaning I'll have a lot of explaining to do.
So, sometime in the next month I HAVE to tell her I'm gay. God, give me strength for this...I'm so scared. But I know she'll never stop being my friend, and in the end we'll be stronger. But I don't want to go through that period of transition.
*sigh* I'm strong enough to do it, just my fear always gets in the way.
Damn my worries! Vile creatures.