Untitled

fairy.'s picture

This in a new version of my last posted poem. Hope y'all like it. Please comment!

She stands,
Never complete,
This inner drama occurs,
Love dies vainly.
Sleep lost,
Her eyes
Rusted with
Falling tears.
Her face trembles,
Radiating moments,
Outing herself,
To her Self.
Behold the chic bodies,
Waving;
'Better!'
'Larger!'
Tales of silk and bangles,
Ballet shame,
Burning times.
Abandon the bad.
Love wakes,
Inner essence
Twitters vainly,
Within the daily lie,
Of autumn oaks, and
Flying cats,
a smile on her face.

Comments

devildog's picture

This poem always seems to rem

This poem always seems to remind me of a Greek myth somehow, it creates a cool atmosphere.

I was thinking of changing one thing though:

Her eyes-
Rusted with
Falling tears.

I really like the affect of a dash there, it seems to make an interesting flow.

Anyways, I like this version:)

~*~*~*~*~*~

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde

fairy.'s picture

Thanks!

Love,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Queer Anarchist.