I'm tired of living for what happens after i die. What's the point of living on a straight line without breathing space if you're doing it for the afterlife? Heaven? hell? Who cares, you're dead. I want to live, to experience as much as i can and write and sing and draw and cry and laugh about it. I want to know love, i want to know freedom. I want to know loneliness and submission. But i'm not going to submit my life to death before i've even begun. (for any of you that havent caught on, i'm talking abotu religion.)
I know a girl who broke her life. The used CD, the one with I Caught Fire (in your eyes) on it. She lived for her music, and she gave it up to show someone that god is worth living for. She cut herself on the shards when she broke that CD, along with her others. I picked up a piece and it pricked my finger, so i bled a little. I left because i was overwhelmed. But she was broken. Her heart had broken. I dont know anymore. I wouldn't give up my life for that. Is trading myself in for the unknown really worth it? I dont think so. I'd never give up my music. I wouldn't give up my freedom, my love, for that. I wouldn't give up my sadness and loneliness for it. It's a part of me. And whatever happens to me after i die happens.