God Damn Boys!

saves_the_day's picture

Okay, so my last couple days have been like a living hell.
Adam is still here. My countdown for the day he leaves is
already in progress...12 days and counting. *please let it
come soon!* I'm seriously annoyed with the boy. Great friend,
but more than that I definately 100% know I don't have for
him. Thank God!

I pull away from him EVERY SINGLE time he touches me. He puts
a hand on my shoulder I slump down like a little kid who just
got yelled at. He pokes me, I tense up. He tries to hold my
hand, I pull it away. We all do it when we don't like someone
or don't like it that they're touching us and we all figure
it out when someone does that to us, but he just doesn't get

Shit, fuck, God damn it all to hell. I want to poke my eyeballs
out right about now! I can't tell him I'm gay. I just can't. I
mean then I wouldn't have to try to say, "Shit happens" every
time he asks me why I pull away. GRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Alright, that's enough of that. On the lighter side of things,
I came out to my sister in law today. Which pretty much means
that I came out to my brother also because I know she's probably
already told him what I told her today.

She called me and did some chitchatting. Then she brough up my
myspace site. I had posted the "We Are The Originals" on my blog,
the only thing I'll pretty much ever post on there will be poems.
But anyways, one of the first thing out of her mouth was, "What's
up with that gay thing on your myspace?"

I kind of froze again, because that's what I'm good at, plus Adam
was sitting right next to me. So I went into the bathroom to talk
to her.
her: Toad are you a lesbian? (She calls me Toad)
me: Would you care if I were?
her: Seriously, are you? I mean, my baby (my brother) pretty much
said the same thing, he said 'if she were a guy I'd kick her ass,
but since she's not I don't give a shit what she does and neither
should you.' But Toad, are you a lesbian? Because if you were, I
wouldn't care. You know that. But I would make a lot of jokes about
you then.
me: Well, I guess you'll have to start on those jokes now because I
her: ARE YOU SERIOUS! Oh my God!

Then we chitchatted some more. She wanted to ask me more questions,
but she had to get back to work. I wasn't planning on telling her,
but when she asked I couldn't hide it. I didn't want to lie. But one
thing she did say cracked me up. When I told her yes, she said, "You
know I kind of figured that about you since you were like 2 years old."
I just laughed at her and told her, "Okay, because you knew me when I
was 2."

Another funny thing that happend includes Sam. She told me that if
Adam got on my nerves too much I can use her as a backdrop. I can
tell Adam that the reason why she calls so much and hangs around so
much is because she's gay and she's my girlfriend. Now you know you
got great friends if they're willing to cover for you that much. It
totally goes against everything she is, but she'd do it for me. And
if worse comes to worse, I will take her up on her word and use that.
I hope that I don't have to though.

Anywho, I feel better now that I got my anger out. I'm glad to have a
night to myself for once since Saturday. I just hope these next 12,
well, now 11days since it's after Midnight, go by super fast. Still
crossing my fingers.


Heh...'s picture

^^ wow i wish i had a friend

^^ wow i wish i had a friend who would cover for me like that :( but i dont... just.. nothing
t('.' )z You know... I could watch my Kirby avatar run all day...

Y - GuRl's picture

oh no

I can imagine how annoying your friend can be.. I feel for you. Guys can be pretty thick even if you give really obvious signs that you aren't attracted to them at all. Does he know that you don't and will never like him like that? It's probably best if you guys talk about it and put it out in the open.. if you haven't already. My friend Tim and I had "the talk" but I didn't come out to him, I just told him that I didn't feel the same way.. and yeah I felt bad but in the end it was probably for the best coz he doesn't bug me as much as before. It's less awkward and he actually mentions other chicks in front of me now.. so I think it's all good finally.

You're counting down until he leaves.. sounds like it's gettin pretty bad. Hey that's cool that you came out to your sister.. even if it wasn't planned. Kinda wouldn't mind if my sister straight out asked me! Well hope your 11 days are bearable. Oops i think i wrote a whole essay :\

somethingofvalue's picture

I'm sorry about that guy frie

I'm sorry about that guy friend of yours, but I'm glad your sister-in-law is being accepting about the whole thing. Being a lesbian in today's world is so much easier than being a gay male, I think.