I was just thinking, and I realized that if the girl I love (who is straight) suddenly became bi, and she asked me to marry her, I would say yes in a heartbeat. I would give anything to spend the rest of my life with her, and that is scary to me. She loves me too, but as a friend. We are like sisters, only closer. It is strange to feel this strongly about anyone. Before her I never even really had a crush on anyone (I thought I was straight, but didn't really like any boys). All of a sudden there is this depth of emotion that I have never felt before. It is hard for me to believe that it is just a crush, although at times I do feel crushed. I want to find someone else, someone who I like, who likes me, I want to find someone who will make me forget about her, but I don't think that's possible. I'm tired of being single, but the only person I want to date can't possibly date me.