I have a friend and we joke around a lot and we pretend we're dating, ha ha right? Except i came out to her today. i wrote her a note explaining that i didn't want things to change between us. i hope they don't. i guess i'll find out tomorrow. i want a girlfriend so much, i want to know what it feels like. but there is no one in the immediate area that could fill that job description. so i am left wondering and filled with fanasies and hopes that the first girl i told won't take it the wrong way.