Becoming "The Lesbian"

Duct Tape Fairy's picture

I came out as bi a while ago. Recently, though, I've decided to say that I'm a lesbian. I think that technically speaking I am still sort of bi, but I rarely (if ever) find myself attracted to men (only Johnny Depp), so I decided to, at least for the time being, call myself a lesbian. I never gave that much import to labels, they were just sort of handy. However, since I started telling people I am a lesbian, not bi, I have noticed a big difference in the way they treat me (not necesarily in a bad way, just different), and a big difference in the way I act in response. I have become "The Lesbian." I am (I think) the only out lesbian at my school. There are three or four bi girls. I never really realized this before, but it seems like people make a huge destinction between bi and lesbian. It's not that people have been hostile to me. If anything, they have been more supportive. However, one problem I have encountered is that the fact that I am a lesbian seems to come up all the time. Don't get me wrong, I love being a lesbian, and have no problem with people talking to me about it. However, it seems like people are turning it into a character trait for me. I am becoming Sarah the Lesbian. I would much rather just be Sarah. When I came out in the first place, my biggest qualm was that it would become a big deal. I really wanted it to be a non-issue, even though that is really not possible. I was surprised and pleased by how little a splash it made. However, now that I am calling myself a lesbian, people are starting to make it into an issue again, and I am tired of it being so prominent.


goatchunx's picture

Hmm. I know how that is. I am

Hmm. I know how that is. I am sorry that people do this. It is a risk of coming out: that you become "the gay" or "that bisexual girl." It should settle down eventually.

Q - "What is your sexual preference?"
A - "I have no sexual preference."

Icarus's picture

Yeah, I know how you feel. I'

Yeah, I know how you feel. I'm the only out lesbian at my school too. Most people don't care, but I know I'm viewed differently than other people. And yeah, there's a BIG difference between being bi and a lesbian. but don't sweat it, it's just high school and it'll all be over soon enough.

Peace. :)

"Who's going to buy a used dog?!?"

rowie's picture

why is it always like that? i

why is it always like that? its so annoying. no-one ever says - you know that straight girl, very rarely they say - that bisexual girl but the moment you are a lesbian it becomes your new description.

**you must be the change you wish to see in the world**

sugarmagnolia's picture

don't worry, they're interest

don't worry, they're interest/obsession with the lesbian thing will fade over time, especially once they realize that it's not a character trait. and maybe your coming out will help other lesbians in your school become more comfortable with themselves, and allow them to make that step to coming out as well. and if not, high school doesn't last forever, and i've found that college is a major improvement.

"freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"