Coming Out Twice

teenkillernot's picture

This is something i thought would never happen to me. I have came out
to my parents twice now and they still think that my friends have told me to say
that i am gay and they don't want to accept me. Soon after the school starts
a GSA i am hoping they won't need parent consent and if they do i hope that
they don't have a certain slip for the group that says GAY-STRAIGHT-ALLIANCE.
IF SO do you think that i should tell my parents again. Also to help you
make the right choice i have talked to my mom in the car and she said that if
i told her that i was gay again and she knew that i was not hanging out with
the wrong crowd that she would believe me. Do you think that i should come
out again?

Patch's picture

think of it this way. . .you'

think of it this way. . .you're gonna be gay for the rest of your life, right? She's gonna have to come to terms with it sooner or later, but sooner is better, because then she has more time to get over it.

"What is the purpose of life? It is to create our own purpose."

tonyrowe's picture


Sounds kinda like my parents....

PolySciMC's picture

I'm Facing the Same Issue

My mom has always been someone I could confide in. When I told her that I was a lesbian, she seriously told me that she would have known about it already, that parents have abilities in that arena, and pretty much that I was being mind-fucked by a close friend in a time of need. This girl would never do that to me. She knows I don't take that shit!!! And besides, she has a boyfriend right now, so it's not like we're going to do anything.

I like women. Why the hell would I lie about something like that? I haven't met a guy I'm attracted to sexually. I may think he's cute, but saying someone is good-looking from afar is sooooo different. I feel as if I'm standing on a mountain, yelling, with no one hearing what I say. This is soo stupid. Could I be making this up? I don't see how I could. These are my deepest emotions and beliefs.

To quote from my favorite Pete Seeger song: "When will they ever learn?"

"War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands."
-H. L. Mencken

NovaCat's picture

Why in the world do your pare

Why in the world do your parents think your friends told you to say that you're gay? Where in the world does that reasoning come from? I can't imagine any instance where a friend of mine would want someone else to lie about their sexual orientation, and even if they did, why in the world would the person lie? That's so stupid . . . people don't drum up the courage to tell their parents just for kicks . ..

PolySciMC's picture

I honestly have no idea where

I honestly have no idea where it comes from. It's hilarious, because my parents have always been "accepting" of gay people. One of my friends in high school was a lesbian. I met her my junior year in high school, when I became a member of a local theatre company. She was two years out of grad school, and her girlfriend was a TV executive. She took me home from rehearsal, and I went over to her house several times when my parents were out of town. We had really awesome talks. She was the first girl friend I ever had. I never felt comfortable with girls as friends before, forget about lesbians. My goodness, how I avoided them like the plague!!

In the play we did, she put her head on my lap in the longest scene of the play, where each character switched off between sleeping and being awake. She had gorgeous, long, red hair, and I had to play with it. It was just amazing, and always smelled good, even when she said she hadn't washed it that day. I had such a crush on her, and wanted to tell her that I loved her more than anything. But I knew it could never happen, due to age and college. I never heard from her again, but I am hoping that I can find her phone # in my room, reconnect, and maybe stay friends. Who knows.

I guess when it comes to their daughter, it just cannot be true. The fact that my mother says she would have known already if I was a lesbian, THAT is the part that gets me. I sometimes wonder if she's right and I'm just misreading my own signals. No matter how hard I try to picture myself with a man, I just can't, at least in that way. I'm afraid I'll have to get married for appearances, and then resort to cheating or something like that in order to feel complete. And I am SOOO not doing this out of a fear of men. I mean, do guys "act gay" out of a fear of women??!!! It sounds so Victorian or something. "Oh, Dora, Lizzie and Esther make such good friends because of their fear of men" C'mon!

This is such a ridiculous situation to be in. No one say "screw your parents, and just let them deal with it." I'm an only child, I'm not spoiled, I have always done the right thing, and am my entire family's portrait of near-perfection, even though I have anxiety disorder, Tourette's Syndrome and have concentration differences (aka: ADD) I do well in school, and am now on medication that has made life brighter, and is helping me to find my full self. I'm so sick of feeling that if I keep trying to explain to my mom that I'm a lesbian, or bring a girlfriend to meet my family, they will no longer see me as an example of goodness. That I will be a screw-up, like other members of the family, and no matter what I do with my life, I will never be seen as good again.

My mom blames my friend right now, but I'm most afraid of her blaming me, and thinking I am doing this to spite her, or to add drama to my life. She cannot seem to realize that I have my own feelings, desires, and beliefs. This is so annoying, and wish I could just sleep this off...

...But I have to do econ homework first , hooray!!

Peace Out!!

"War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands."
-H. L. Mencken