I honestly thought this journal entry I would be going on about how I've come out. Hasn't happened yet. I had it all planned, new years was gonna be when I told Tim. No, instead we were stuck with a stranger who was in love with sleeping and his cigarettes. My fault tho. Although that night I did have a connection with a cute girl, we were in the car with this band pumping up and we cruised past these bunch of people. A girl goes "hey who's playing [insert band here]?!' And I jus stuck my thumb out the window and I said something to her.. can't remember what, but she was like Yeah! and gave me the thumbs up. Little things like that make me happy.
I got my hair done at this new place, wow all the chicks there were hot! Especially the girl that did my hair, she was great, heaps cute. She had mad hair, kinda short and blonde, blue and pink. She had an engagement ring on or something so I was like aww she's definetely straight, plus I think she was a little pregnant too.. maybe. Still I was dreamy for the rest of the day, she's probably the first crush I've had in ages. She was so cool. *sigh*
Hmm what else, oh yeah the midsumma festival is on right now. It's the annual gay thing they have in Melbourne. I really wanna go check it out, it's on for a few weeks.. so if I come out to someone before it ends, then I might have a chance of them coming with me! That's the plan anyway. I seriously need some queer mates around here. I was kinda close to coming out to Timmy.. well hardly.
Him: Were you gonna say something awkward because it seems like you were..
Me shakes head
Him: Oh.. ok well it could have been interesting.
Yeah I'm stupid.. but I'm usually not a very open person, so I guess it's hard to just let go and say what I wanna say. My new attitude is 'fuck it, just say it.' It's harder to do if you put it off for ages yeah. Well I'm sick of writing about my bullshit attempts to come out.. so I'm not writing another journal entry until I do.