So here it goes, I love my friends. I love them more than
I love myself most days. They've all been just great with
my recent coming out situation, ordeal, whatever. All my
friends have been great about it. Except since I've come
out in the open with them, there's a sort of a barrier
that flies up with my guy friends.
All my female friends crack jokes about my sexuality and
I'm totally cool with that. I myself crack jokes about my
sexuality. I mean, why not? Cracking jokes about myself
means I'm at a total comfort level with myself, and that's
But my guy friends, I don't know. They do the same thing, only
I become defensive about what they say. They find the whole
lesbian thing extreamly hot, but who can blame them, right?
That's really not the point though.
I totally understand that they are curious about everything.
And my being constantly bombarded with their rauchy questions
doesn't bother me. Okay, I don't know how to explain it where
it doesn't sound weird...
So here's an example of what they've said/done. We're hanging
out at Ryan's parents fixing my truck. (Yea, I do realize that
the whole female working on cars is such a lesbian stereotype)
But the boys also realized this. Which pretty much started this
whole rant here. Anyways, the guys ask me stupid questions such
as, "Would you ever video tape you and your girlfriend together
and let us have the tape?" I mean, hell, I wouldn't even do
that if I were straight! *not the video taping, but the video
taping and handing over the tape.*
Oh, it gets better...they actually tired to get me into some
flannel shit because, and I quote, "It's a total lesbian thing."
I just deal with it because it's all out of good humor and all,
but they never can drop the subject of my sexuality. It's not
like I sit there and question their sexuality.
One night one of them asked how I knew I was gay. Not a bad
question. But I didn't know how to answer it. So when I answered
with a simple, "I know I'm gay the same way you know you're
straight." They just weren't happy. How the fuck do you answer
a question like that? YOU JUST KNOW! Come on!
Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with the boys and all,
because we do shit that the girls and I don't, but I hate how
everything gets turned back to my sexuality. Can't they just
leave my sexuality alone for once!?!?!?
I would much rather hear about how they find my sister hot. Not
a topic I would like to be included on since she's my sister, but
at least it would get them off of my lesbianism.
This is totally off my beginning subject, but I ran into one of my
sisters friends and some how I got roped into going to youth group
on Wednesday. Yea, I don't like church things, never have. All I
can say is thank God that none of them, that I know, have kept in
touch with my sister since she left for Portland 2 years ago.
I know some of my friends that I went to school with go to that
youth group and have probably caught on to my msn shit and all.
That just kinda got my mind wandering...what if they already knew
and are going to try to "convert me into being straight." Is it
bad that that thought made me laugh?
Yea, alright, so that's enough for the time being. I made myself
laugh, that was good for tonight, maybe I'll try to get some shut
eye here soon...past the point of being tired once again.