I am coping

cayde's picture

I spent my Friday night alone at my grandfather's house. Actually I spent
the whole weekend inside the house without going out. I am still making a
decision which house I should return to.

I didn't sleep in my room, instead - I made a bed in our living room in
front of the television. It was colder in the bedrooms, plus I felt more
alone in my bedroom. Grandpa was supposed to arrive on Saturday morning
but he had some tests before he could board the flight so he stayed behind
for a few check-ups. He arrived this morning, I still haven't got round to
phone home. I guess I should go back to my apartment and recharge my cellphone

I spent past ten minutes cleaning out my inbox, there were a lot of KennyD's
message, surprisingly I still have Michael's messages, who I dated six months ago in it. I also
found sex and the city and dawson's creek mp3 files for my cellphone.
I think I can use another proper cry over KennyD and one last "date" with him to
move on to remind ourselves that we are not to become complete strangers.
Crying is easy enough, I'll just have to build up emotions possibly
for several days. Well the last date is more difficult to arrange.

I think it's like when somebody over consumed alcohol, the quickest to make
themselves feel better is to vomit. Induced vomit is irritatingly difficult
and painful. Induced emotional vomit - crying is equally painful.

I need a proper cry.

Comments

Uncertain's picture

Aww, it's good to release tho

Aww, it's good to release those emotions, don't hold them inside you. Hang in there man =)