I'm at college, and if you looked at me, you would probably looking at someone who seems all together, smart, happy, and headed for the skies. And you're 95% correct. I do love school, and I have the most awesome friends in the world, seriously. And I hope that I will go great places, and meet great people, and find that special woman who means everything to me.
However, my mother seems to be totally oblivious to my feelings in a variety of areas, especially in regards to my sexual orientation. I first asked my mom about liking girls when I was a freshman in high school, because I had a painful crush on this girl who I was in choir with. She had told me she was bi, but her preference was toward guys. I was bummed and really didn't understand my feelings clearly enough. So, I talked to her, and she assured me that I was not a lesbian or bisexual, and that she would know if I was. The years passed and I went out with guys, but really had no feelings toward them at all. But whenever I would be near another girl I liked a lot, or thought was gorgeous and amazing, my heart would skip a million beats, and my belief in my assumption got stronger. I told my mom on the phone earlier this year that I liked women. My mom replied that I was not, that my "mind was being fucked" by a friend of mine, that I should cut off ties with her. Mom then told me that this had happened to her, and that I was just being manipulated. I then took that position for while, but at Christmas, I realized I really do feel the way I do, and that this is valid.
I'm just so confused because I don't know where to go, what to do, who to talk to, or anything. I just want someone to believe me!!!! Is that too much to ask?????!!!!!! I feel lost in this area of my life, and am so scared. Questions are just racing through my mind. Please, someone, hear me!!