Well in almost every one of my journal's i have talked about Lisa my Culinary Teacher at school also just a person that helps m eout in talking to me when i'm down and being there just if i need a hug. Well Thursday at the end of the day after gym. Everyone could see that i was visibly upset. Because i walked out my classroom which many kids do at my school unnoticed. I hid infront of a door down the hall from my class and sat there crying. I got up after a while and went back to my class Lisa had returned from where she went and my teacher was like cause Lisa is the Teacher Aide. "Are you ok cause you look sad." I said i was but she didn't believe me and everyone knows that i talk to Lisa about most of my problems. So she was like to Lisa take her into one of the other empty classrooms down the hall and talk to her.
So she told me to come out in the hall with her. I followed behind her. She asked me what was going on and all that she could see i was c or had been crying. I just kept telling her i was fine i wanted to stay down at the door we leave through till it was time to go because it was only like 10 minutes left. So she just started to walk away as she did she grasp my shoulder then walked away. Well i had to call the school this morning to make sure that my cd's that i forgot in my bad mood weren't stolen. There are many kids who steal others things frequently there. Then my teacher Mrs. A told me she was worried about me and when i got to school she wanted me to talk to her. So i said i would talk to Lisa instead. So i did that Lisa after i had health took me into one of the therapist office. I sat there while she talked debating in my head whether or not to say what happened to me the day before.
I couldn't really get up the courage to say what i was feeling so she was sitting in the chair across from me saying all these situations and reasons why i got upset. She is really funny and she was making some jokes trying to make me more comfortable. So i just said i would write what happened on paper. We usually just write to each other instead of talking cause there is somthing about me i can't see or hear the voice of the person cause it is kinda hard to do for me. So i wrote what happened and how when she was talking to me after i came back in the class all i could think was how beautiful she is. I have written her a note saying how beautiful i thought she was and showed my therapist then her. But in this i told her more about how when i first came to this school i liked her not as a good teacher but a women that i had a crush on her. How sometimes i think of kissing her. But i told her how that was before i actually knew the Lisa i know now. That my feelings over changed into one of a love for a friendship or whatever relationship we have.
I said how i would be hurt if she changed because of what i was revealing to her. Cause i needed her to be that person who has helped me over these years. How i needed to work on with my therapist why i latch on to older women so much. I think there are reasons that i do that i don't conciously know of. Well she was reading it in the kitchen at our school and i said i would be in the classroom. Well after a amount of some minutes she came down to the classroom and tried to give me a hug but i freaked myself out so much that i turned around. So she just wrapped her arms around me from behind and hugged me. She told me that she wasn't changed by the note and understood. It was nice to hear. So it was time to go on Fridays they let us leave early. So i was talking to Lisa more before i left then i went behind her chair where she was sitting and wrapped my arm around her her still in the chair and she wrapped her hadns around my arm that was hugging her then i said goodbye to the 2 other teachers Mrs. A and Z then got on my bus.