Big problems

The god machine's picture

I recently came to grips with my bisexuality (Which helped me find this site) However Problems have been arising because of this. I recently came out to my mother which didn't go too well and have yet to tell my father. However to make matters more complicated I am currently dating a girl at my school who I really care about but not in the same way she feels about me and I've found that I'm actually more gay than bisexual. Does anyone have any advice? not just on this but really anything i can do to help matters. If at all possible I'd really like to help settle this without hurting anyone. Thank you for your help.

grey_n_blue_stars's picture

I'm sorry but I'm not out to

I'm sorry but I'm not out to my parents so I can't really give advice on that one. I can tell you from personal experience that you should tell this girl the truth that you care about her but you don't feel the same way she does, if she gets hurt it would probably have hurt her more if you continued to date her and let her feelings for you get stronger. That's what I wished I would have done anyway.
Good Luck with your parents and the girl!

"Here I lay
still and breathless
just like always
still I want some more"
- Deftones

kg's picture

don't lead her on. it'll jus

don't lead her on. it'll just hurt more in the end. you're confused, etc. etc. but if you don't want to be with her, don't be.

twitch's picture

I have the same exact problem

I have the same exact problem. Unfortunately we've just got to tell them.

~ A Tiger in a Cage + Never Sees the Sun ~

Anonymous's picture


Your in the exact same situation I was in last year this time. There is know way out without hurting the GF. DONT tell her your questioning your sexuality because it will make things complicated. My advice try to let her go on good terms. And as for telling your dad, wait until your more confident in your self. If your not sure wait awhile, I understand how confusing it is I was there. PM me if ya wanna talk I'll get back to as soon as possible.

Hyacinthus's picture

A Delicate Situation

Well this certainly is a delicate situation. I agree that there is no way to really let your girlfriend go without hurting her, but I think you can try and lessen the hurt by being upfront if you think she can be trusted with this. As for your mother I don't think it is anything to worry about yet. Often it takes parents time to digest this information, and hopefully they will be accepting of you. You must realize though that your mother will probably tell your father so he might be a little prepared for you to tell him. The question though is whether you are ready or not. You shouldn't tell people unless you are ready to do so. I hope my advice is useful for you, and I'm sorry if it isn't. Best of wishes to you in this hard time though.

"The French are glad to die for love, they delight in fighting duels. But I like a man who lives, and gives expensive jewels"

Duncan's picture

I think that you'd better tal

I think that you'd better talk to your girl friend about your sexuality. The sooner you do it, the better. What would you do it she starts really getting attached to you. Some one will always get hurt, anyway you look at it. If you keep dating this girl, you'll be hurting yourself and she'll eventually see that you don't like her that much and she'll be hurt. Just tell her now, before things get nasty, as they tend to in such situations. My general advice is to keep using this site and try to find other people who are GLBT. (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender) Lol. And try not to worry too much. Trust me, things get better. I mean, if you can accept who you are, you're already pretty well set. Take it one day at a time. One minute at a time and try to take breaks. It's stressful enough being a teenager, but people like us have extra shit to deal with. Don't let it bring you down. And like I already said, it does get easier.